Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Overscheduled Mom

I heard on the news quite awhile back about a study that said parents are among the angriest people in America and I believe it. I bet it is especially true for moms like me that stupidly sign their kids up for every activity under the sun and spend their week ferrying their kids between school, soccer practice, Spanish class, swim lessons, etc. At least I don't have a mini-van or a pair of "Mom Jeans" because then I would truly have to admit that my life is all about my kids and not much else.

I know my anger comes not from the fact that I spend so much time in the car, but the effort it takes to get in the car. Abby hates transitions and if I don't plan it out just right, she will have a fit about getting her hair combed or her jacket on or about which snack I packed--anything you can think of. Sammy, who is getting close to 7-years-old, has to be told twenty-five times to get his shoes on, find a jacket, etc. He is always off setting up a lego scene or chasing the cat when it's time to be going out the door. And I am willing to bet that's where most parents' anger comes from--trying to get little people to do things that they don't necessarily want to do at that moment. It's the coersion that is so stressful and makes me yell and wish that I could use the f-word. I have discussed this with my husband and he says my job is not that different from his--the people are just bigger where he works (he oversees about 30 employees).

I could say screw all this running around and just throw them outside to play. I think that is what mothers in previous generations did most of the time, right? (Which reminds me to recommend Free Range Kids to anyone who is afraid to send their kids outside by themselves or allow them to do any number of things that we were allowed to do as kids.) The only problem is that my kids really do seem to enjoy the activities they are in and benefit from them a great deal, it's just the getting ready that's too dull for words in their minds. In fact there was a study done by Sandra Hoefferth of the University of Maryland Population Research Center that said that kids are not stressed by being involved in lots of activities, it's just the parents that are stressed. The study goes on to say that kids that are not in any extra-curricular activities are actually at the most risk for being withdrawn and not performing as well in school as their peers (the study was highlighted in the Washington Post awhile back but is unfortunately not available online for free).

Summer is just around the corner, so there is relief in sight. I can sit back and just enjoy lazy days at the pool or the park with the kids....except I will have to wrestle them both to the ground to apply sunscreen to their fair little bodies before we ever venture out of the house...at least crocs just slip on!

2 comments:

MegandMag said...

Really "At least I don't have a mini-van" :) Really, next time you visit my mini-van will let you walk! ;)

Liz said...

Have you tried warning the wee ones of the impending transitions? My daughter has a hard time with transitions as well. I've found that giving her a five minute and a one minute warning before she has to put something down has really helped.