Mommy Guilt

I was reading another blogger's posting about how every mother always feels guilty no matter what. How we always feel that we are not doing enough or that we're not doing the right things. This really hit home for me, because I get a sick feeling in my stomach just about every day thinking about whether or not I am really paying enough attention to my children. I feel guilty for checking my e-mail, trying to read an article in TIME or talking to a friend on the phone. It's not that I don't love playing, reading, creating, etc. with my children, because I find great joy in those activities, but not all the time. I need to do things that require some complex thought or that give me interaction with other adults or I would probably go insane. In an effort to feel less guilty, I have decided to write down my priorities as a stay-at-home mother and homemaker.
1) Feed them nutritious food, bathe them, put clean clothes on them, comb their hair, brush their teeth and otherwise take care of their basic physical needs
2) Make sure my children feel loved every day--hug them, kiss them, say "I love you", smile at them
3) Make sure my children feel important--spend time with them, listen to them, answer their questions, partake in their interests (even if that means pretending to be a superhero or playing with plastic dinosaurs on the train table)
4) Work with Joybaby on on her physical therapy
5) Take them to all their activities and appointments (preschool, physical therapy, soccer class, swimming)
6) Make sure the bills are paid, errands are run, important phone calls are made, important paperwork is filled out and basically make our home life run smoothly
7) Clean the house and teach my children some organization skills in the process, also do the grocery shopping and laundry, which make #1 above possible
8) Serve on two boards-one for our co-op preschool, the other for our family business and also fulfill my other duties associated with those positions

Whew!!! When I really write it all down like that, I really do a lot. Yes, I am patting myself on the back, but my point is that I accomplish most of those things on a regular basis, with housework getting the short end of the stick, so I should not feel guilty. My kids know they are loved and valued. JoyBaby is very happy and musical and social. ImagiKid is thoughtful and imaginative and loving. I am doing a good job and my kids get to be with their mom everyday!

By the way, check out http://www.salary.com/aboutus/layoutscripts/abtl_default.asp?tab=abt&cat=cat012&ser=ser041&part=Par481 to see what a stay-at-home mother is worth in dollars. There is even a link that allows you to make a "paycheck" and "pay stub" for yourself or another deserving mom.

P.S. Hereafter I will refer to my daughter as JoyBaby and my son as ImagiKid. I have wanted to keep their names annonymous on this blog and have found that other bloggers use cute nicknames to refer to their children and decided to adopt the habit myself.