Kindergarten Readiness

My husband and I attended a kindergarten readiness seminar at our son's co-op preschool a couple of nights ago. They had a panel of five teachers: one was a public school kindergarten teacher, two were from a private school, and two were representing the magnet programs offered by the public schools in our area (which are multi-age but don't start until first grade). So I guess the seminar was as much about choosing which program to put your child in as it was about actually getting your child ready for kindergarten.

Even though they were all very vested in promoting their own programs and it was definately clear that they had some philosophical differences, as a panel they did seem to agreee on what is most important in getting your child ready for kindergarten

1) An eagerness and willingness to learn

2) Being emotionall ready to be on their own at school without mom

3) Having some social skills and an ability to get along with other kids

4) Being able to do some basic tasks for themselves, like put on their jacket and zip their backpack (one teacher said they do not need to be able to tie their shoes, because most 5-year-olds don't have the motor skills for that yet)

5) Know some basic safety rules, like who they should go home with. It is also helpful if they know thier parents first and last names and phone numbers.

Surprisingly, they said kids do not need to know all their letters and sounds or be able to count to 20 or anything academic like that. They all said that they meet the child where they are and help them to progess as a learner from that point. I am thinking this sounds pretty good.

Then towards the end of the meeting one of the panel members said that we are in the age of "best practices" in education. I nearly choked when she said that. I couldn't resist raising my hand and asking, "so how do 'best practices' fit in with the WASL?" The WASL is the standardized test given in the State of Washington. We are really in the age of the No Child Left Behind Act (aka No Child Left Untested Act). Standardized testing drives much of the curriculum now, and many districts even have strict pacing guides that teachers must follow no matter what the needs of their students are or where they are developmentally and academically. Now granted most of these teachers were either from private schools or magnet programs that don't look anything like a normal public school classroom in our district (and I can say that from personal experience because I used to be a substitute teacher), so maybe their classrooms do use "best practices." But I don't think that is the case in much of the rest of the country.

My fear is, which is shared by many, is that these tests are only creating schools where students are taught to take tests, instead of think creatively, problem solve and develop a love of learning. I also think it is really unrealistic to expect all students to meet the same level of achievement. This creates a "one size fits all" system of education, instead of one in which individual differences are celebrated and instruction is designed to help all the students--high achieving, low achieving and everywhere in between. For the record I do think many tenets of the act have real merit, such as mandating that all teachers be highly qualified and that instructional practices be researched based.

I am going to try and enroll my son in one of our district's alternative or magnet programs. He will still have to take the WASL (unless we were to opt out) if he is enrolled in one of these programs, but I don't think the instruction is nearly as focused on preparing for the test. I truly don't know what I will do if he doesn't get in--we don't have the money for private school and I just don't think I have what it takes to homeschool.

Why Does Disney Hate Mothers?

Okay, so this is something that has been on my mind for awhile, why is it that in so many Disney movies the mother of the main character is dead or otherwise out of the picture? Think about it: Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Finding Nemo, Chicken Little, Ratatouille all have missing mothers. Then you have movies like Cinderella and Snow White where the only mother figure is a wicked stepmother who tries to either kill the heroine or ruin all her chances for happiness. What message is Disney trying to send to kids? It would appear to be that mothers are either unnecessary or evil. Or maybe they are just trying to terrify children by making them feel that their mothers could kick the bucket at any time.

To be fair, Disney movies really don't do a lot of justice to fathers either. They are usually portrayed as being totally incompetant to raise and protect their children, and are either too busy (King Tritan in Little Mermaid), too self-absorbed (Nemo's dad, Chicken Little's dad) or just too stupid (Jasmine's dad in Aladdin, Belle's dad in Beauty) to know what is really going on.

I honestly doubt that any of the messages Disney may be sending about mothers and parents in general really have too much affect on kids. I think they mostly just like the adventurous and imaginative aspects of the movies, and I do let my kids watch Disney movies, but I try to not let them get too wrapped up in them. For instance I do not buy my children clothing or products from movies (if you see my son wearing a Cars shirt, my mother bought it for him). My son's preschool teacher has a good rule for knowing when your child may be too wrapped up in a movie or show: if the child's play becomes too scripted and is no longer as creative or as imaginative as before, then it may be time to pull the plug (or at least cut back) on the movie and TV watching.

If anyone wants a more in-depth analysis of motherhood in Disney movies visit: http://animation.memory-motel.net/motherhood.html.

Isn't the snow beautiful?...Now get this winter over with!

It has been snowing here on and off since Monday, which means we probably have about a foot of accumalated snow. Winters in the Inland Northwest are hard for me. Even though I only lived in California for two years, I think I am much more suited to that sort of climate. I am trying to make the best of it though. Today, I bundled up the kids and put JoyBaby in her little toboggan and we went for a walk in the snow. There is a "park" nearby (really just a large median) where ImagiKid and I had a snowball fight and made snow angels. When we got home I asked him if he had fun throwing snowballs at me and he said, "yeah, that was wicked!" Where does a four-year-old learn a word like that? My guess is from his uncle. Anyway, besides playing in the snow I am using all my best ideas for keeping kids entertained indoors. Here are a few:

1) Perler Beads
My son has been obsessed with these lately and they can keep him entertained for hours. The only drawback is what to do with all the little plastic shapes afterwards. If you iron them for a long time sometimes they can be flat enough to use as a bookmark.

2) Collapseable forts & tunnels
These have been a big hit with my son and his older cousins for years and now even JoyBaby likes to crawl around in them. Ours was a gift, but I would consider it a good investment. We have gotten so much use out them, plus they can be folded down and fit into about a 2'x2' bag or stored flat under a bed.

3) Books on CD
ImagiKid especially likes the Curious George collection right now. Yesterday, I swear he spent about two hours listening to them.

4) Games
Operation and Uno are favorites around here lately. They seem to be good for both preschoolers and elementary kids, as ImagiKid had lots of fun playing both with his older cousins who are seven and nine-years-old.

5) Baking
I am not much into baking, but even I can handle a muffin mix. ImagiKid is at an age where he is actually very helpful and even though JoyBaby can't really help yet, she loves the finished product. Hint: use an icescream scooper to put the batter in the muffin cups and you will get perfectly proportioned muffins (I read this somewhere, but wish I could claim it as my own).

If anyone has any great ideas, please share them! It is only January and I just might lose my mind before spring!

Happy New Year

I am thrilled to report that my deepest Christmas wish, the one I had actually been praying for, came true--JoyBaby crawled on hands and knees on Christmas Eve! Then a couple days later she crawled over to the coffee table and pulled herself up into a kneeling position. My husband and I are thrilled.

So, anyway, it is a new year and I have a few resolutions. The first is to declutter my house. The second is to watch less TV and give ImagiKid less screen-time overall. Thirdly, I plan to make the decision on what I want to get my master's degree in so that I can begin taking classes this fall. I am well aware that many people's New Year's resolutions fall flat, including many of mine in the past, but I am going to create an actual plan to help me accomplish these goals.

I am goint to use the book It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh (#2 on my Winter Reading Challeng List) to help me declutter my house. I have also enlisted my husband's help with this one, and as per the book's instructions, he has helped me sit down and write out our vision for our home.

As for watching less TV myself, I plan to only watch shows I have set timers for on DVR and also go through and edit my list of timers. I realized how much more productive I have felt the past couple weeks with all my regular shows on hiatus for the holidays. I think that I have been allowing TV to take me away from things that are just as relaxing but also give me a greater sense of accomplishment. I am also going to start giving ImagiKid coupons for screen-time each day. I think this will help me set limits more firmly and also teach him to be more aware of how much time he spends watching movies or playing V-Smile.

I guess I don't have much of a plan for resolution #3 yet. Even though it really only requires thinking and not any physical labor, self-discipline or imposing my will on someone else (for their own good of course), it is the most difficult of all. Making this decision will determine what I do with my life after my kids are in school. It will affect how much money I make, how much time I will be able to spend with my family, how satisified I feel in my career and with my contribution to society, and many other things, including some I'm sure I haven't even thought of. When I was eighteen, I moved away from home and went to college and after changing my major a few times, decided to be a teacher. I felt like I would be doing something that would help other people, and I do think that I did a decent job of being a teacher, even though I didn't do it for very long before having my son. But I don't know if any eighteen-year-old is really ready to decide what they want to do with the rest of their life. For that matter, I don't even know if I am ready at 28, going on 29! So, wish me luck with this one.

I searched on the web for useful information about how to keep your resolutions and this is one article I found interesting: A New Year's Resolution Revolution. A lot of other websites say some of the same things, but this one also encourages you to look at what you've done right and helps you focus on what areas you should truly try to improve. I also like this website, just for fun: History & Fun Facts About the New Year.

Winter Reading Challenge

I am joining my first on-line reading challenge. Thanks to Karlene at http://inksplasher.blogspot.com/ for hosting. The challenge started on December 22, so I am a little late getting started. I think I am going to choose 10 books, which will be about one book every week for the remainder of the challenge, which may be a lofty goal considering I have a 4-year-old and 16-month-old. Okay, here is my list:

1) The Hurried Child by David Elkind
I am actually reading this book for a book club hosted by the teacher of my children's co-op preschool. It is about the pressure that is put on kids to grow up too soon and do things that they are not ready for.
2) It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh
Peter Walsch is an organization guru from TLC's Clean Sweep. I plan to not only read the book, but actually do what he suggests in an effort to accomplish my New Year's resolution, which is to declutter my home. He promises that organizing your life will help you to live the life you dream of...we will see.
3) The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
I have to see what all the hype is about. My husband made fun of me for buying this one because it got made fun of so badly on Saturday Night Live, but I am at a point in my life where I could use a change, so maybe it will actually be good for me. This will count as going out of my comfort zone since I usually don't read self-help books.
4) A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
Another member of the challenge already has reviewed this book on her blog and said she couldn't put it down. I have a copy that was given to me by a very well-read friend that I get a lot of my reading recommendations from.
5) The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Believe it or not, I actually graduated from high school and college without reading any Steinbeck, but I guess it is never too late to start and I figure I should have at least one classic on my list.
6) I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids by Trish Ashworth and Amy Nobile
This book received a lot of attention this last summer and I wanted to read it then, but never got the chance.
7) The Best American Essays 2007 edited by David Foster Wallace
From the reviews on Amazon it sounds like this book will cover many interesting subjects. Plus I think I can get my husband to read it too, always a bonus.

8, 9, 10) TBA

Reviews to come!!!

I Hate Christmas--Just Kidding...Sort Of..

For some reason this holiday season has seemed particularly hectic. Part of it, I know, is because I'm in charge of the office party for my husband's business. I spent half an hour at the register in Wal-Mart on Tuesday while the poor clerk rang up $1200 worth of gift cards that are to be handed out to the employees at the Christmas party. Meanwhile, my son is whining that he's hungry and wants to go McDonald's, and my daughter is insisting on being held, but still continuing to fuss. I gave in and took the kids to McDonald's because I still had to drag them to another store to exchange something because I bought the wrong size. I have to say that McDonald's is evil in the way they hook kids from a very young age. JoyBaby, who is not quite 16-months, mind you, saw the little Strawberry Shortcake dolls in the display case and started pointed and saying "ooh, ooh!" So then weak mother that I am, I got her a happy meal of her own so that she could get the stupid toy that she was tired of by the time we got to the car. Speaking of being weak, I actually used "you better be nice because Santa is watching" on ImagiKid. I cringe every time I hear parents say that, because 1) do we really only want our kids to be nice so they get presents? and 2) even if they aren't nice, isn't Santa going to come anyway? I don't know any parents who really wouldn't put anything under the tree from Santa and then tell their kids it was because they didn't behave.

But I digress. Back to why I am less then jolly this year. I think part of it is because I would really like to just enjoy the season and create all kinds of great memories and traditions with my kids, but instead I'm too worried about getting everyone the right present and worrying the whole time about how much money I am spending. I also get stressed out thinking about how much stuff my kids will get from everyone and where I am going to put it all. I am hoping that tomorrow when the office party is over that all the stress will just melt away. My husband and I are planning on taking the kids to look at Christmas lights, to the Campbell House, and maybe even for a carriage ride downtown this weekend. Who knows? Maybe I will get to create some great family memories afterall (if my kids can forgive me for being such a grouch and dragging them in and out of a million stores this past week).

Some food for thought:

http://www.forbes.com/business/2006/12/04/christmas-spending-breakdown-biz_cx_lr_1205christmas_slide_4.html?thisSpeed=15000

(a break down of how much and what Americans spent in 2006)

http://americanresearchgroup.com/holiday/

(what Americans plan to spend this year compared with the last 10 years)

http://www.more4kids.info/569/christmas-tips-to-reduce-stress/

(helpful tips on how to destress at Christmas)

Mommy Guilt Part 2

First, I was very excited to get posts on my blog since I am new to this whole experience. Second, I have been thinking about my last post and how it sounded a little, I don't know... shallow. Yes, I do a lot as a stay-at-home mom, but who doesn't? I know that my husband has no idea how busy I really am, but he is also extremely busy himself and has his own worries. I think the reason I feel the need to list all my accomplishments is because I get so little feedback as a stay-at-home mom. There is really no one to evaluate what kind of job I am doing, and I certainly don't get a raise for a job well done.

As for the guilt I feel, I don't think I explained it adequately. Yes, I do feel guilty for taking time for myself that I could be devoting to my children, but I think it is more than that. I think the core of my guilt comes from the fact that I do not feel completely fulfilled by just being a mom and wife. I feel the need to be more. Before I got pregnant with my first, I desperately wanted to be a mom and felt like that would make my life whole.

I never pictured myself staying-at-home full time until about halfway through my pregnancy when I started calculating how many hours a day my child would be in daycare versus with his parents. Then I factored in all the time he would be with us, but we would be doing chores, errands, etc., instead of really paying attention to him. My husband and I both realized it would not work for our family for both of us to work full-time after our son arrived. We have made lots of sacrifices, including leaving California to find a cheaper area to live in, but we have made it work financially. Now, the problem is, I fulfilled my desire to create a family, but I took away another part of me that was central to my identity.

And it's not just that I want to be more, it's that I let that desire take over my thoughts to the point that it spoils the times that I should be enjoying my children and turns me into a grouchy and resentful person. Guilt can be a nasty cycle too--first you feel guilty about some stupid thing which puts you in a rotten mood, then because of your crappy state-of-mind you do something else to feel guilty about, and so on.

Apparently, I am far from alone in my feelings and frustrations. For more on "mommy guilt" go to :

http://anndouglas.blogspot.com/2006/04/mom-university-debra-gilbert-rosenberg.html

(this is an interview with the author of a a whole book on mothers' guilt)

http://www.mommysavers.com/moms-coffee-break/release-mother-guilt.shtml

(this website has some helpful tips on how to cope with it and how to realize when it's healthy guilt vs. unhealthy guilt)

http://truemomconfessions.com/

(this website doesn't deal so much with guilt, but rather is a forum for moms to say what they are really feeling and realize that they are not alone--which can help relieve a lot of guilt)