Well, Monday was the first day of fall, and I did promise to return to more regular blogging once the summer was over. There have been some changes around our house recently. The most exciting is that my daughter, Abby, is now officially a walker!!!!! Yes, that really did deserve five exclamation points. She started taking her first steps in late July, but like everything with her, really took her time getting comfortable and didn't really start taking off until a few weeks ago, shortly after her second birthday. She had an Abby-Cadabby party, by the way. I am not really into anything with character plastered on it, but the name got me. My son, Sammy, turned five right after his sister and feels so big. He had his first party where we invited friends from preschool.
The other change around our house has been more subtle, but has really contributed to more of a feeling of peace and contentment in our home. Over a year ago my friend, Michelle, and I read a book together called
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. The parenting philosophy advocated by the book was a little too soft for my style overall, but I did take some good things away from it, especially where the author encouraged parents to "be in the moment with their children." Or in other words, to not be thinking and/or stressing about what else they could be/should be doing when they are supposedly paying attention to their child. The author said if you can't stop thinking about the weeds that need pulled in the garden, then go take care of what needs doing, so that you can enjoy your time with your child. That really struck a chord with me, because I am one of those people who lives inside my head way too much and sometimes feel myself acting irritated with my children when they
interrupt my thoughts. So, I had been trying to "be in the moment" on and off for close to a year, with little success. Then this summer I read another book, a novel this time, called
The Cure for a Modern Life. It talked about living in the present and even said that might be the key to real happiness. The concept was also mentioned in
Practically Perfect. Then Michelle started talking about another book,
Beyond the Rainbow Bridge, where being in the moment and focusing on the task at hand is emphasized. So there are four sources where I have heard about this concept. My husband, Jeff, says that if you hear something from three sources, or can triangulate it, then it is usually true. Well, I have just
quadragulated this ( and created a new word:)!
However, reading about something in a book and feeling like it is probably a good thing to do and actually putting it into practice are two different things. I have been working on doing it more, though, and have noticed myself having more fun with my kids and being more tuned in to them. When I am tuned into them I can experience joy and wonder through their fresh little eyes and hearts. There are two reasons I think I have been able to do this more. One, Michelle is trying to do it too, and having a partner in crime always makes things more doable. Two, I have gotten to know some other really great moms locally that have shown me that "just being a mom" is a great job to have. One of them, my friend, Michele (different Michele, notice the one l), works part time at a big corporation, but I hardly know what she does there (and I have asked) because she is so focused on being a mom when she is not at work, that she hardly even wants to talk about it. She says that her other job is so secondary to being a mom. I love that! I think having a community of moms around has made me not feel so isolated and helped me to feel that what I am choosing is perfectly acceptable and even desirable to more people than just me. I am not the only stay-at-home mom that I know anymore!
Surprisingly, I am not the only one in our household practicing being in the moment. Jeff has been doing it too, although I doubt he would call it that. But he has been trying to let work go and enjoy his time with his family when he is home. He has seemed a lot more happy lately and has been more like the fun person I know he is deep down than he has been in awhile. I also don't ask him "how was work?" anymore, because really he doesn't want to talk about it when he is not there, either.
I will leave you with a picture of my little girly-girl, pushing her doll stroller around:
This one is two trees and two ghosts with a row of pumpkins. Do you notice a theme here?