Mommies Think Too

Fatty Thighs Exposed!

2011-04-03T17:13:00.000-07:00

The YMCA is a great outlet for our family, especially during Spokane's frigid winters. They have a gym, workout equipment, fitness classes, a family game room, free childcare and three pools. The kids love it there and Jeff and I enjoy having a place for all of us to burn off some steam.

The only thing I really dislike about the Y is running into neighbors and accquaintances in my swimsuit. I find myself being forced to stop and chat with people that I would normally see while walking the kids to school or bump into at the post office while my big, white thighs are on display for all the world to see.

The flip side to that is that I also have to see people I know bare it all too, which may seem like it would ease my discomfort, but I don't know that I want to know about my neighor's tattoos. Seeing strangers butt-naked in the communal showers in the locker room is one thing, but seeing your pediatrician bare it all is something quite different. Plus I have a four-year-old that says whatever she thinks, such as "Mommy, that lady has a fat tummy!"

What the Game of Life Has Taught My Son

2011-02-26T16:38:00.000-08:00

Last week we went shopping for some good old-fashioned family board games. Winter is lasting forever and the kids, particularly Sammy, needed a deterrant from the Wii. We came home with the Game of Life and Sorry Sliders.

I never played the Game of Life as a kid and was shocked to find out that sprinkled throughout the game are squares that allow you to sue a player of your choice for $100,000. There are also squares called "Spin to Win" that allow you to place a bet on the number of your choice and spin the wheel. If it lands on the number you bet on, you double your money.

So there you have it, suing and gambling. The only upside is that Sammy also learned that investing money in a house means that you have that asset later to sell when you want to retire. Just what every 7-year-old needs to know about life, right?

P.S. Sorry Sliders is a fun game that preschoolers can play but is still entertaining for older kids and adults.

Memorial Day 2010---A Poem!

2010-06-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

By Jeff Gish (my husband)

The doppler radar

forecasted rain

but we chose not to listen

...bring on the pain!

The rain came around

but we got a little sun

and finally our bikes' cranks

got pedaled, pushed & spun

We saw some wildlife...

an inquisitive chipmunk fellow

most interesting however,

was a spider clad in yellow

We enjoyed nature's beauty

we saw the towns & farms

we went coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs

we robbed mallows from "Junky Charms"

Bought some wet wood

from the ranger station

the billows of smoke at our camp

could have covered a small nation

Abby loved her bike trailer rides

and super book adventures

luckily her top bunk fall

didn't leave her with dentures

Sammy got to pee in the woods

as all boys like to do

as much as playing in the fire

or camping without shoes

Mom and Dad smiled more than not

slowing life down and grasping all we've got

It's one of our favorite getaways

to visit Heyburn Cabin

we hope you all relax and have

as much fun as we are havin'

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Jeff wrote this poem in the cabin journal before we packed up and went home after our stay over the long weekend. I am a little late in getting it posted, but still wanted to share it. If you want to read more of Jeff's writing, you can visit his blog about the moving industry.

Mom Friends

2010-05-08T22:53:00.000-07:00

Often I think that my friendships with other women depend not on whether we have things in common or enjoy eachother's company but on whether or not we have children that play compatibly. Most of my get-togethers with other women are playdates for our children. This isn't to say that I don't love my mom friends, I do, but I wonder about the other women I have missed the chance to get to know because our kids weren't the right ages to play together or didn't seem to hit it off.

I also worry about what will happen to my friendships with other moms as our kids grow and go in different directions. It has already happened with a few friends that had children in Sammy's preschool. Once our kids went to kindergarten at different schools and we didn't see each other every week, it became difficult to maintain those friendships. I suppose that is the natural way of things--life changes and people move on and new people come in to fill the gaps.

Jeff and I have two couples that we have been friends with for a long time, one set since college and the other since we were new parents together. We don't live near either couple anymore, but we still make an effort to stay in touch (and I mean more than just on facebook) and see each other when we can. Sometimes our kids get along with their kids and sometimes they don't, but that doesn't change the adults' friendships. Somehow I think we'll always be friends with those people--we'll be going on senior cruises with them and talking about our hip problems with each other. I hope some of my mom friends will make it into that category of forever friends--that our connections remain even when our circumstances change.

Overscheduled Mom

2010-04-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

I heard on the news quite awhile back about a study that said parents are among the angriest people in America and I believe it. I bet it is especially true for moms like me that stupidly sign their kids up for every activity under the sun and spend their week ferrying their kids between school, soccer practice, Spanish class, swim lessons, etc. At least I don't have a mini-van or a pair of "Mom Jeans" because then I would truly have to admit that my life is all about my kids and not much else.

I know my anger comes not from the fact that I spend so much time in the car, but the effort it takes to get in the car. Abby hates transitions and if I don't plan it out just right, she will have a fit about getting her hair combed or her jacket on or about which snack I packed--anything you can think of. Sammy, who is getting close to 7-years-old, has to be told twenty-five times to get his shoes on, find a jacket, etc. He is always off setting up a lego scene or chasing the cat when it's time to be going out the door. And I am willing to bet that's where most parents' anger comes from--trying to get little people to do things that they don't necessarily want to do at that moment. It's the coersion that is so stressful and makes me yell and wish that I could use the f-word. I have discussed this with my husband and he says my job is not that different from his--the people are just bigger where he works (he oversees about 30 employees).

I could say screw all this running around and just throw them outside to play. I think that is what mothers in previous generations did most of the time, right? (Which reminds me to recommend Free Range Kids to anyone who is afraid to send their kids outside by themselves or allow them to do any number of things that we were allowed to do as kids.) The only problem is that my kids really do seem to enjoy the activities they are in and benefit from them a great deal, it's just the getting ready that's too dull for words in their minds. In fact there was a study done by Sandra Hoefferth of the University of Maryland Population Research Center that said that kids are not stressed by being involved in lots of activities, it's just the parents that are stressed. The study goes on to say that kids that are not in any extra-curricular activities are actually at the most risk for being withdrawn and not performing as well in school as their peers (the study was highlighted in the Washington Post awhile back but is unfortunately not available online for free).

Summer is just around the corner, so there is relief in sight. I can sit back and just enjoy lazy days at the pool or the park with the kids....except I will have to wrestle them both to the ground to apply sunscreen to their fair little bodies before we ever venture out of the house...at least crocs just slip on!

A Carnival, Science Night, 2 Fieldtrips, a Kitten...

2010-04-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

...and a few other things we have been up to this spring:

The PTG at Sammy's school put on an awesome carnival. There were tons of games, face painting, snow cones, cotton candy...you name it, they had it.

Abby's school had another great Science Night with hands-on projects galore!

Sammy has an amazing kindergarten teacher that does tons of science with the kids. The class has been studying pond life, so they walked down to a pond near the school and met with a former high school and college biology teacher to do some real world research.

Abby's co-op preschool visited a farm after a unit about farm animals. Besides being home to lots of cute critters, this farm also has a dairy where they pasteurize and bottle their own milk to sell to local stores.

Meet Socks, the newest member of our family. Abby's teacher was a foster parent to a pregnant cat from the Humane Society. We adopted one of the kittens so the kids could have a pet of their own. Our other cat, Nilla, is quite old and has never been too enthused about playing with Sammy & Abby.

In April we made two trips--one to Seattle and one to Yakima. Unfortunately we did not have the memory card in the camera when we went to Seattle so we have no pictures of our trip to the top of the Space Needle. In Yakima Sammy got to ride the go-cart that my brother built for my nephew.

Return to the Blogosphere

2009-08-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

So, I have been absent from blogland for awhile. I have been prompted to return mostly because I'm helping host another swap over at http://www.littlepeopleswap.blogspot.com/ with my friend Michelle (aka Meg). We always try to encourage participants to get to know eachother by visiting and commenting on one another's blogs, so I figure I better return to my blog, at least for the duration of the swap.

Also, I miss blogging. I gave it up because I wanted to focus on finishing some children's stories I have been working on and submit them to publishers. I still haven't finished them, so I can't blame it on blogging, considering it has been nine months since my last post and I am nowhere near submitting anything to publishers.

Maybe it would be best to re-enter blogland by giving a brief update on what I have been up to in the last nine months. My Family's Top 10 Highlights of the Last 9 Months:

1) We moved to a new house. We are still on Spokane's southill, but in a different neighborhood with what we feel are better schools. We rented out our other house, so now we get the joy of being landlords--not the funnest thing in the world, but not the worst either.

2) Abby started talking up storm! No speech therapy for her, but still doing the PT.

3) Sammy finished preschool and is gearing up for kindergarten. He is turning six in a few weeks and is busy planning his party. He wants it to include capture the flag.

4) We tore down our garage at our new house in preparation for building a new one (bigger and not leaning precariously to one side).

5) I got asked to be an officer on the board at Abby's (formerly Sammy's) co-op preschool next year. I will be the secretary and I feel honored to have my dedication recognized.

6) Jeff and I celebrated our 10th anniversary in May. We marked the occassion with our first ever weekend away from the kids.

7) I have a new nephew. My sister-in-law Joanna just gave birth to a beautiful little boy--Carter John. He is perfect! Yet I have no desire for more of my own. I am perfectly happy to look at him and hold him and let his parents do all the work!

8) I have read several great books with my book club and had lots of fun discussing them over wine. The Glass Castle tops the list.

9) Our business is surviving this economy! We launched a new website over the winter and I wrote most of the copy (another reason for not blogging). If you are moving anytime soon or just want to read some really captivating content on the moving industy, check it out: http://www.actionallied.com/.

10) Jeff and his team won the Portland Street Jam 3-on-3 Basketball Tournament for their division last weekend. I was very proud of him and his team.

If anyone is out there and reading this, leave me a comment and tell me your top items of the last 9 months. You would think I was pregnant with all the references to 9 months (see number 7 if you think I am hinting at anything).

Stay tuned, more to come soon........

Children's Book Review: My Dog is as Smelly as Dirty Sock & Found Object Collage Art

2008-11-14T11:18:00.000-08:00

The other day my son happened upon the book My Dog is as Smelly as Dirty Socks at the library. It is told from the perspective of a little girl who is asked to draw a picture of her family but doesn't feel that pen and ink quite do her family members justice. Instead she decides to use found objects to create collage-like portraits of them that show their personalities. For example, she uses a small wooden spinning-top for her dad's nose because he is fun loving. The book inspired my kids and I to create our own collage faces from a bunch of miscellaneous stuff in our craft cabinet that I just knew we would have a use for SOMEDAY.

Sammy made this one--it's me!

I helped Abby create this self-portrait. Since she is only two, I spread glue for the hair and shirt and gave her sequins and old puzzle pieces to stick on. She also selected the googly eyes and stuck them on.

Sammy and I worked together to make this one of Jeff. It is the only one where we really concentrated on making the objects match the subject's personality. His eyes are number 40 because that was his number when he played high school basketball, and basketball is still one of his favorite hobbies. We used a map for his shirt because he used to be a social studies teacher and enjoys studying maps. The bell nose is because he is musical and is teaching himself to play the guitar.

I made this one of Sammy.

We really got in the collage making mood. The animal one was a collaboration between Sammy and me. Some of the cutouts are from an old calendar created by the same people who made How Are You Peeling, another really fun children's book. The final one was all Sammy's doing.

Boys and (Violent) Toys

2008-11-13T09:57:00.000-08:00

After Sammy's swim lesson yesterday, I decided to pop into Target and buy some diapers and cleaning products. I thought that since we were there, it would be a good idea to peruse the toy aisles and get an idea of what the kids might like for Christmas--big mistake! First of all, I guess I didn't explain thoroughly enough that I wouldn't actually be buying any toys (apparently I needed to repeat it multiple times). Second, every toy for little boys had some sort of weapon attached to it. The one exception being the cars, which might explain why a certain friend of my son's doesn't seem to own any other toys other than cars.

Even most of the Playmobil sets, which I know Sammy really likes, were trying too hard to be realistic (pirates with guns and swords, knights with swords, etc.). Sammy got the Playmobil firefighter for his birthday and loved it so much that he bought the policeman set with some of his birthday money. I didn't pay too much attention to the accessories it came with until we got home and realized that along with the laptop computer, walkie-talkie and flashlight, there were two guns.

I'm thinking maybe Sammy won't get any toys for Christmas. He already owns a plethora of different building toys--legos, tinkertoys, wooden blocks, magnetics (all of which I consider good investsments, by the way). He also has a bucketful of cars, an extensive wooden train set, and a huge collection of dinosaurs (a favorite of his for two plus years now). Beyond all that, what could a boy wish for? However, I do want to get him gifts for Christmas, but what?

Sammy told me that if I buy him the pirate Playmobil set he will throw out the guns, but still wants to keep the swords. I have a done a little reading on the web and have found that while many experts will say that no violent play or toys should ever be allowed, many others believe the context and pervasiveness should be taken into consideration and not all violent play is necessarily bad. For instance, if children are pretending to be a policeman or knight or something of that variety, it is more acceptable than if they were pretending to be say a drug dealer or gangster that they saw portrayed on adult tv shows/movies. So maybe I could get the Playmobil pirates afterall--the only probably is whenever I see him play in a violent way, even when he is just making his dinosaurs attach eachother, I get a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Here are links to a few of the article I found, should anyone be interested:

Violent Toys and Their Effect on Children

Violent Toys

Why is it that violent toys are only targeted at little boys, while the worst that is aimed at little girls is Bratz? Are the messages sent to little girls through toys just as harmful? For example, that appearance is paramount (think Barbie) and they need to be rescued by men (Disney Princesses)? I can worry about that some other year, I guess. Abby is only two and she is getting a play kitchen for Christmas.

Fun Fall Crafts & More Fall Pics

2008-11-11T10:00:00.001-08:00

First, Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband, Jeff!

Now, is that not the biggest leaf you have ever seen? On Wednesdays, my son gets picked up for preschool by another co-op mom and friend of mine. When she brought him home last week, he had a fistful of these giant leaves. Apparently, my friend's mother-in-law has a tree in her yard that does not usually grow in this part of the state.

I wish I coud take credit for the idea of making the leaf man, but my friend suggested it when I was wondering out loud what we could do with Sammy's booty of leaves. We used hot glue to attach the leaves to a piece of cardboard that I had been saving forever because I knew it would come in handy for an art project someday (see, sometimes it pays to be a pack rat). We used smaller leaves for the mouth and nose and tiny pinecones for the eyes. By the way, I pulled out the hole punch to attach the yarn to hang our creation from the banister and ever since Sammy has spent a lot of time entertaining himself by punching holes in construction paper. This might be a boy thing--he used to love cutting paper up into tiny pieces and I know other moms who said their boys do the same thing.

This turkey craft is pretty self-explanatory. The key is to find a good pinecone that will sit down properly. Again, not my idea--Sammy made one in co-op last year.

These final pictures are from our last bike ride of the year. It was one of the best and most scenic rides we have ever gone on, so I guess it was good one to end on.

Unattended Child In Cars Laws

2008-11-10T20:45:00.001-08:00

After I finished my post last night, I went and read up on "unattended kids in cars" laws to see what might have happened to me if the aforementioned busybody actually used the cell phone she was wielding threateningly (okay, just holding in her hand). The laws in Washington state that a child under 16 years of age may not be left in a running car and a child under 12 years of age may not be left in an unattended car in front of a tavern or other establishment that serves liquor. So I would have been safe had the police been called seeing as I didn't leave the car running nor was I drinking my lunch. Washington's laws seem to me the most lenient out of all the fourteen states that have such laws on the books, but I think that I would have actually been okay in any state since my children weren't technically unattended since I could see them out the window of the restaurant. And now I will let this issue die and never speak of it again.

In My Face

2008-11-09T22:19:00.000-08:00

I feel like as a whole American parents live with a great deal of fear about all the terrible things that could happen to our children. There are a few books out there that touch on how the media creates fear by sensationalizing the rare instances where a child is abducted by a stranger or attacked by a shark or whatever (Freakonomics, The Mommy Myth, The Culture of Fear). I am as guilty of falling into the trap of false fear as anyone--I have an alarm system in my home so that I can sleep at night knowing my son is sleeping on a different level of the house from me. But when I leave my children in my car for five minutes outside of Subway, while I grab a quick sandwich for my son to eat in between his sister's physical therapy and the start of his preschool, I don't expect to be humiliated by some busybody barging into the store demanding to know if anyone has a white car. "You left your children in the car?!" she said after I affirmed that I had a white car. "Yeah, I'm keeping an eye on them (I could see my car out the window and had been watching them nearly the whole time I was in line) and I'm only gonna be in here for five minutes I replied," and hastily paid for my sandwich, only to find her standing by my car outside. As if I was going to sit down and enjoy a leisurely lunch while my kids sat starving in the car. I should add that it was a cool fall day and it was neither too hot for them to get heat stroke nor too cold for them to devlop hypothermia. I would never leave my children in the heat or the cold, and I would never leave them in a car where I couldn't see them out the window of whatever place of business I was in for that matter, but even if I couldn't see them out the window, what did that busybody think was going to happen? Does she believe that there are child abuductors on every corner? And that one was going to break into my car in broad daylight in a busy shopping area and pull my children screaming from the car? Did she think they might spontaneously combust?

Maybe I am the one that is off base here, maybe I should be thankful that there are people like that watching out for children. But I don't think it was the fact that she was concerned that bothered me, I think it was her approach. She acted like it was a life or death situation and that I needed to be reprimanded for my supposed offense. If I saw two children in a car unattended and felt concern for them, I think I would just keep and eye on them and see if their parent didn't return in a reasonable amount of time. If that woman would have waited two minutes, I would have been back to my car and she could have seen for herself that I was not neglecting or abandoning my children.

Mothers put enough guilt on themselves everyday: I'm not giving them enough one-on-one attention, I shouldn't have let them eat so much Halloween candy, I should have gotten up earlier so I would be rushed and grouchy with them, I shouldn't swear in front of them or argue with their father, etc, etc, etc! We sure as heck don't need it heaped on us from total strangers.

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In other news: I voted for McCain, because as much as I wanted to say that I cast my vote for our first president of color, I just couldn't come to terms with Obama's socialist policies. I'm afraid of what will happen to our country with such a liberal president and a democratic congress. I think it is best for everyone when there is some give and take in government and compromises reached, but I fear that Obama will get a green light to do whatever he wants. However, I am proud to see a person of color electeed to the oval office and I hope that I will see a woman reach the same heights in my lifetime.

Today's weather: cloudy and raining hyperactive kids--whatever am I going to do this winter? I fear I will be drinking a lot of Orange Juliases while my children play on the indoor playground at the mall.

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Overheard in my backseat:

Sammy's friend: Babies only drink milk, they don't eat hard foods.

Sammy: Yeah, that's kind of weird. They get their milk from right here.

Friend: Yeah, those are called breastes.

My Most Favorite Season of All

2008-10-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

Where Were You When?

2008-10-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

I was just a kid whent the Berlin Wall was torn down, but I remember my dad calling me into the living room and making me watch it on TV with him because he said it was going to be one of the most historic moments of our time or something like that. I also remember my grandmother talking about how everyone of her generation remembered where they were the day JFK was killed. I don't remember anything else about what I was doing the day the Berlin Wall started coming down, but I can tell you more about what I did on 9/11 than almost any other day in my life, except maybe my wedding day and the days my children were born.

Intersting that the events that seem to shape our country's history and identity are usually catastrophic, while the events that have shaped my personal history tend to be cause for celebration. Maybe it is not like that for everyone, I haven't experienced a lot of loss in my life, aside from my parents' divorce. I suppose as I get older, that may change.

I do hope that this recent crash of the housing market and downturn of the economy will not be one of the events that I look back on as shaping my life or our country's history. I desperately want for it to be a temporary setback, a bump in the road that gets quickly flattened out.

When I was in high school, I had to interview someone and write a report on it (it may have been for freshmen english, but I can't say for sure). I chose to interview my great-grandmother about what she could recall about the Great Depression. She's 96 now, so she must have been around 82-years-old at the time, but she clearly remembered a time when her and her family had to stay in bed under the covers because they didn't have any heat or any food either. Her grandmother finally came and brought them something to eat--potatoes, I believe.

I'm not saying any of this to scare anyone or because I really believe we are about to play out the sequel to the Great Depression or anything like, but I do think that the next president we choose will be key in determing how this period of time goes down in history. Will it be a sidenote or will it demand its own chapter?

I watched the debate last night and I'm still not sure who I am going to vote for. I like Obama, I think change would be good for our country, but I don't know if I'm ready for that radical of change--I'm not prepared to become a socialist. However, John Mc Cain's plan to buy up all these mortgages that are in default and renegotiate them seems ludicrous! I don't think our country can afford to buy up another $300 billion in bad debt on top of the $700 billion we already have. In fact, just as TIME magazine pointed out about the bailout, John Mc Cain's new plan is a pretty socialist thing to do too. Thinking about it is starting to make me a little apathetic--I mean either one has got to be better than George Bush, right?

I hate being apathetic--I'll let you know how I feel after the next debate.

Teaching Them the Classics

2008-09-27T23:52:00.001-07:00

It all started with Jeff desperately wanting to spend at least part of the weekend vegging on the couch. Not an easy task with two kids heavily demanding his attention whenever he is home. His only defense was to get a movie that they could watch while snuggling with daddy on the couch and eating bowls of homemade popcorn. So mom was dispatched to the video store where I ended up buying the Goonies. Sammy was totally into it, even though he was a little scared (in a good, fun way). Abby was totally into the popcorn, so it worked out well.

About a month later, Sammy had a cousin spend the night and we decided it was time to continue our course in classic '80s movies, so it was back to the video store for The Never Ending Story. This time we blew up the air mattress for the kids (which is almost as good as having a bounce house in your living room) and made popcorn, of course. Jeff and I had a good time taking a trip down memory lane and it was good to see the kids enjoy the movie even though all the special effects were really bad. Afterwards we had a scholarly discussion about our favorite parts of the movie, which character we would want to be, etc.

Up next on our syllabus:

The Princess Bride

The Labyrinth

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Not To Be Outdone By His Little Sister

2008-09-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

Sammy has recently reached what I would consider a developmental milestone, which is drawing figures that actually look like something versus the abstract drawings he was making only a week or so ago.

These are bats if you couldn't tell. Some are flying and some are hanging upsidedown from an invisible tree. Oh, crap, I think the picture is upside down because all the pumpkins are in the sky and not on the ground like he drew them. Oh, well...

This one is two trees and two ghosts with a row of pumpkins. Do you notice a theme here?

This is exciting for me because I love doing art projects with kids and this has opened up a lot of possibilities for us. It also reaffirms my belief that as much as possible you should let your kids develop at their own pace and not push them too much. Drawing has come quite naturally to Sammy and he really loves doing it so far, but I could see it being something stressful and not fun if I had pushed him into it.
Which gets me thinking about how much our current school system scares the daylights out of me. And how if I could fix the lottery in our school district so that my children were guaranteed a spot in the montessori program, I totally would. To quote Angela from The Office last night, "I have a very nice comforter and very soft pillows and I usually read a few chapters from a book--that's how I sleep at night!"

Happy Fall and Here's to "Being in the Moment"

2008-09-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well, Monday was the first day of fall, and I did promise to return to more regular blogging once the summer was over. There have been some changes around our house recently. The most exciting is that my daughter, Abby, is now officially a walker!!!!! Yes, that really did deserve five exclamation points. She started taking her first steps in late July, but like everything with her, really took her time getting comfortable and didn't really start taking off until a few weeks ago, shortly after her second birthday. She had an Abby-Cadabby party, by the way. I am not really into anything with character plastered on it, but the name got me. My son, Sammy, turned five right after his sister and feels so big. He had his first party where we invited friends from preschool.

The other change around our house has been more subtle, but has really contributed to more of a feeling of peace and contentment in our home. Over a year ago my friend, Michelle, and I read a book together called Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. The parenting philosophy advocated by the book was a little too soft for my style overall, but I did take some good things away from it, especially where the author encouraged parents to "be in the moment with their children." Or in other words, to not be thinking and/or stressing about what else they could be/should be doing when they are supposedly paying attention to their child. The author said if you can't stop thinking about the weeds that need pulled in the garden, then go take care of what needs doing, so that you can enjoy your time with your child. That really struck a chord with me, because I am one of those people who lives inside my head way too much and sometimes feel myself acting irritated with my children when they interrupt my thoughts. So, I had been trying to "be in the moment" on and off for close to a year, with little success. Then this summer I read another book, a novel this time, called The Cure for a Modern Life. It talked about living in the present and even said that might be the key to real happiness. The concept was also mentioned in Practically Perfect. Then Michelle started talking about another book, Beyond the Rainbow Bridge, where being in the moment and focusing on the task at hand is emphasized. So there are four sources where I have heard about this concept. My husband, Jeff, says that if you hear something from three sources, or can triangulate it, then it is usually true. Well, I have just quadragulated this ( and created a new word:)!

However, reading about something in a book and feeling like it is probably a good thing to do and actually putting it into practice are two different things. I have been working on doing it more, though, and have noticed myself having more fun with my kids and being more tuned in to them. When I am tuned into them I can experience joy and wonder through their fresh little eyes and hearts. There are two reasons I think I have been able to do this more. One, Michelle is trying to do it too, and having a partner in crime always makes things more doable. Two, I have gotten to know some other really great moms locally that have shown me that "just being a mom" is a great job to have. One of them, my friend, Michele (different Michele, notice the one l), works part time at a big corporation, but I hardly know what she does there (and I have asked) because she is so focused on being a mom when she is not at work, that she hardly even wants to talk about it. She says that her other job is so secondary to being a mom. I love that! I think having a community of moms around has made me not feel so isolated and helped me to feel that what I am choosing is perfectly acceptable and even desirable to more people than just me. I am not the only stay-at-home mom that I know anymore!

Surprisingly, I am not the only one in our household practicing being in the moment. Jeff has been doing it too, although I doubt he would call it that. But he has been trying to let work go and enjoy his time with his family when he is home. He has seemed a lot more happy lately and has been more like the fun person I know he is deep down than he has been in awhile. I also don't ask him "how was work?" anymore, because really he doesn't want to talk about it when he is not there, either.

I will leave you with a picture of my little girly-girl, pushing her doll stroller around:

Wall-e Review: Moses meets Wal-Mart

2008-08-09T22:30:00.000-07:00

Going to the movie theater is a big deal in our house--we consider it a luxury or a special occassion. So the whole family was really pumped when we went to see Wall-e last night. My son was fascinated throughout. My husband and I were both intrigued by the social commentary that was going on. In the beginning of the movie you find out that planet earth was at one time taken over by one corporation, Buy-n-Large, that not only provided for every consumer need from electronics & groceries to gasoline & banks, but also was the reigning worldwide government. Obviously the similarities to Wal-Mart are undeniable, but it also sort of reminded me of the book of Revelation where one power rules the earth. Except in Wall-e all the humans escape earth via cruise spaceships that take them on what is supposed to be a five year vacation while the earth is cleaned up by droids, but it turns into a 700 year exile. Maybe it is a wierd combination of Revelation and Exodus, but heaven is place that humans go to become fatter and stupider and the promised land is a garbage dump.

After watching the movie, I read a few reviews on-line and was surprised to find that many critics thought the plot was lacking and that the only great thing about the film was the animation. I was also surprised that the creator said he had no agenda or message concerning taking care of the planet--please.

I don't normally review movies on my blog, but thought this one was worth mentioning and also worth watching with your kids. I like movies that are smart and unique. The fact that the girl got to rescue the boy in the end was pretty cool too :)

Simple Pleasures

2008-07-07T22:32:00.001-07:00

Here is my beautiful, blonde-haired boy thoroughly enjoying himself by pushing his bubble mower through the grass while the sprinklers were going. He was soaking wet and smiling from ear to ear by the time he was done. I sat watching him and what I ended up wishing was that he will always find this much pleasure in doing things he loves throughout his life. I hope that his love of learning continues through elementary and high school and into college and that he finds joy in studying subjects that fascinate him. I want him to find sports or activities that he does purely for enjoyment. I also hope that he will still find pleasure in the simple things, like a summer evening or a sunset or the smile on his child's face.

Let Your Kids Take the Lead

2008-07-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

Being a former teacher, I think I have the tendancy to want to plan things with my children as if I were planning a lesson for my students. I will have a great idea for an activity or project, but then when I present it to my son, he has no interest in doing it. In a classroom with 30 kids, at least some of the kids will be interested in an activity, so it is never a complete flop, but with one kid it is a little different.

I have had to work at letting him take the lead in areas where it is appropriate for hime to do so. I believe that giving kids as many choices where you can makes it easier for them to accept the times when they simply need to do what they are asked. One thing that has worked well for us lately, is for me to keep a bunch of items that aren't accepted in our city's recycling and would normally be throw away, like used yogurt cups, empty cereal boxes, egg cartons, etc. in a cardboard box at the bottom of our pantry. My son knows that he can use these materials to create whatever he wants. Mainly he makes boats and sees whether or not they will float. I helped him a little with this one by taping the sails to a skewer he found in a kitchen drawer. He cut the sails himself and poked the skewer through what I believe is an empty sour cream container.

My two nieces spend a lot of time with me during the summer since both their moms work full-time. The other day, the younger one was in the grocery store with me and asked if we could make fruit salad. It sounded like a geat idea to me and her and my son had lots of fun cutting the fruit themselves (they actually used cheese spreaders which are quite dull but can still cut soft fruit easily) and then adding it to plain yogurt.

I know these aren't revolutionary ideas for activities to do with kids, but they have been keeping my brood entertained. Please share any extraordinary or ordinary ideas you have, the teacher in me is always looking for ideas, of course just for those times when my kids don't come up with great ones of their own :)

You Say Tomato, I Say Tamoto

2008-06-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

So there seems to be a buzz in the air lately about immigration, or at least in my ear. Yesterday I decided to listen to some am radio while I made dinner. When I turned on the radio the first thing I heard was Mike Savage from The Savage Nation ranting about how today's immigrants don't know how to use a toothbrush or know what toilet paper is for. Apprently Laura Bush's speech on World Refugee Day set him off. He went on to say that his grandfather was an immigrant, but his grandfather came here to work and started a business, instead of raising the next generation of gangbangers. Excuse me? Besides being offensive and racist, he is also ignorant to think that none of the immigrants of earlier generations ended up in a life of crime. Hasn't he ever heard of the Italian mafia?

Mondays are also the day that Time Magazine arrives in my mailbox and the cover story this week also happens to be about immigration, more specifically the very costly fence that is going up along the US/Mexican border. I had to laugh because the Time reporters were able to easily find people simply climbing over the fence, including a 10-year-old boy and a senior citizen. Seriously though, the fence has cut down on the number of illegal crossings in many areas, but only causes them to go up in areas where there is no fence. It makes me wonder though, why are we spending billions of dollars creating a fence that is not even impermeable, not to mention the cost of all the man-power needed to patrol it, when we could use that money to better the lives of our Mexican neighbors, thereby making it less appealing for them to try and cross the border in the first place. Another alternative would be to spend that money on our education and health care systems that illegal immigrants are supposedly overtaxing.

Then this morning I remembered a documentary I saw awhile back called A Day Without a Mexican. What I got from the film was that our country couldn't operate the way it does without Mexican Americans, legal or otherwise, and that many of them are filling jobs that others simply won't do. But to me, the issue of whether immigrants drive down wages or create challenges in our health care or education systems are really moot. This country was created by immigrants, it's who we are--a nation of immigrants and their decendants. So, who are we to say that our gates our now closed? I once heard that America is not so much a melting pot, but a tossed salad--so what's wrong with a few more tomatoes anyway?

Hodgepodge

2008-06-20T15:55:00.001-07:00

Happy First Day of SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been very spotty with my blog latley. I have been busy helping host the Little People On the Road Summer Swap, helping my husband with his business, and trying to make some friends in the community I actually live in (opposed to in the blogosphere). So, anyway, I thought I would give anyone who actually still visits my blog a few of the highlights of what I have been up to lately:

1) The other night I joined a group of moms at a local martini bar for our bi-monthly parenting book club. We discussed Practically Perfect In Every Way by Jennifer Niesslein, which was pretty disappointing to everyone, especially those of us who have read Brain, Child, which is edited by Niesslein. I think the general consensus was that Niesslein was just trying to be too cool for school, and while she was funny, she never let herself be vulnerable or dig too deep into anything. However, we did have a great time, and I was so impressed by all the amazing women I found myself sitting with--smart, funny and resilient women. I was sort of the baby of the group at 29 and was struck, and excited, by how much I still have to grow and how much I can learn from these women.

2) My daughter finally had her appointment at Shriners Hospital on Monday. She was seen by a pediatric orthopaedist and a general pediatrician. The orthopaedist said he was curious as to why she isn't walking yet, but not really worried. He said some babies just take longer to reach the finish line than others, but there is no reason to think she won't walk eventually and that once she crosses that line, there's no reason to believe she won't be fine. I wanted a quick fix like special shoes or braces to get her up and walking right now, already! The orthopaedist said that is an out-of-date practice because in the long run it won't solve anything--her feet would just turn outwards again as soon as they were off, and even her physical therapist said that they can actually weaken the muscles and cause more problems down the road. My friend Michelle was good at reminding me that my and my husband's intuition all along has been that our daughter is just a late bloomer, that she will be fine, and we should just never look at any developmental charts or pick up any parenting magazines.

3) Today was the official beginning of summer and I kicked it off by taking my two kids and my two nieces to the brand new aquatics center that was built a stone's throw from our house! It is sort of like a mini-waterpark with a big waterslide, a lazy river, and a water playground for younger kids complete with a waterslide that is their size. I plan on packing as many outdoor activities into the next 2.5 months as possible--park days, bike riding, swimming, camping, etc. I still think I am meant for living in a warmer climate, but I will make the best of what I have right now. As for this blog, I plan to keep things light over the summer and will probably post lots of ideas for crafts and activities to do with kids.

Extreme Parenting

2008-05-30T14:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like parenting makes you a little crazy? Like maybe you obsessing too much over all the choices you have to make for your children? I feel much more sane after running across these two cases of Extreme Parenting, each from a totally different end of the parenting spectrum, I might add:

The Bumper Bonnet by One Step Ahead--a helmet for babies to wear while learning to crawl or walk. I'm all for baby gates and outlet covers, but seriously, are there really parents out there that are that overprotective? I don't feel too bad making fun of this, because I am planning on buying their embroidered swimming cover-ups for each of my children. I consider the sun a real threat, but on the other hand, I have been razzed for being a little too neurotic on that count.
Preschool Proms--I never knew such a thing existed until my friend Michelle from The Mama Chronicles was telling me about how there was one at her neighbor kid's preschool. I was shocked when I googled "preschool prom" at how many hits came up. I even found one site where it was mentioned that some of the preschoolers took a limo, and another that talked about the boyfriend troubles one little attendee had on the big night. I had heard of Baby Loves Disco before, but the the emphasis on those events seems to be children and their parents interacting and having fun together, not on forcing children to become mini-teens. My kids' preschool had an end-of-the-year ice cream social and all the kids performed songs like "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed."

I realize I am coming off as a tad bit judgemental here, so I apologize if I offened anyone. If you have a different take on either of these items, feel free to let me know!

Love and Logic

2008-05-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

Awhile back, my son's co-op preschool offered a seminar on Love and Logic. The speaker was Winfield Kline, the son of Foster Kline--one of the co-authors of the book, which I guess has morphed into a whole movement of sorts. I had read the book a few years ago and really liked the idea of having logical consequences and giving children the freedom to make choices and mistakes. The book talks about how the price of a mistake is much lower when your children are young, and how you don't want to wait until they are sixteen to give them their first experience with making decisions. The love part comes in by adding empathy to all your dealings with your children, even when enforcing a consequence. For example, you might say, "I'm really sad for you that you can't have your friend over because you didn't get your chores finished in time."

The seminar was a good refresher for me because it reminded me of the things I did like about the book and has gotten me thinking about how to use them more in my parenting. I feel like too often I slip into just yelling because that is the easiest thing to do. It makes me feel bad though and really doesn't set a very good example of how to act when you are frustrated. In the seminar, Winfield Kline said that when you show your frustration and anger, you are letting your children push your buttons and control the situation. So, I am trying to take a step back and instead of getting upset over things, giving my son a choice between doing what he is asked to do or receiving a consequence. The problems with this is that 1) I'm not giving him real choices--choosing between doing what you were told and being punished is not much of a choice at all, and 2) I'm having difficulty coming up with logical consequences. I usually end up threatening to take away his tv time, which works pretty well, but is not giving him a feel for what making poor decisions is like in the real world. So I decided to to check out the Love and Logic website for some tips. I found two articles there:

Love and Logic Generic Consequence

What To Do When an Appropriate Consequence is Hard to Find

Both of them basically said that you should use household chores in place of a more logical consequence. As much as I like the premise of this method of discipline, I don't think it will work for me all of the time or in every situation. But, I guess it is like that with most parenting books and techniques. There is no one magical solution that will work for everyone all of the time or else everyone would be using it. You have to take what works for you and create your own recipe for raising your kids.

I recently finished reading Practically Perfect In Every Way , and the author, Jennifer Neisslein, talks about how self-help books (she includes parenting books in that genre) don't really work for most people, but I think that is only true to a certain extent. They may not work if you try to follow the book, which amount to someone else's philosophy, to a T. However, I think that you can take bits and pieces of them and improve your life in a way that is meaningful to you. For me, approaching parenting like I would any other challenge in life, means educating myself as much as possible. I will continue to do that, not because I think I will find the parenting bible, but because I think the more I know, the better able I'll be to find my own style.

In related news:

1) I did find one really great article on the Love and Logic website (it is really more of a poster or reminder sheet): Self Concept Builder and Stealers.

2) Check out my book review of Practically Perfect on Meg and Mag's Bookshelf.

Little People on the Road Summer Swap

2008-05-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

Q: What is the quickest way to let your blog die?

A: Don't post anything for two weeks.

Q: What is the quickest way to revive it?

A: Host a swap!

My friend at The Mama Chronicles and I are hosting another swap for kids. It is going to be a travel themed swap for summer and it is going to have some neat twists, so check out the Little People on the Road Summer Swap and get all the info for how to sign up.

Procreation

2008-05-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder, why do people choose to procreate when it means their entire life is going to become about somone else and their needs? Is it a biological drive embedded in our dna to continue the species? Are we trying to show our parents the "right" way to raise children? Is it the ideal of the perfect little American family?

I'm sure it is a little bit of a variety of reason for everyone, but for me the biggest reason is to be able to see the world anew again, through the eyes of my children and to find joy in the smallest of things. The other morning I was driving my son to preschool and he said, "Mommy, look! It's a school bus!" And strangely, I could feel his excitement at seeing a school bus, the most oridnary of things. Then there are the questions he constantly asks that challenge me everyday to think about the how and why of things that I would normally just take for granted. If my son brings wonder and amazement into my life, then my daughter brings joy and laughter. Everytime she hears music, she has to dance and she gets tickled at the slighest things and lets out these big belly laughs. My children remind me that there is more to life than getting things accomplished or running from here to there. They teach me how to enoy it.

The picture is an old one, taken shortly after my daughter's birth.

The Sisterhood of Motherhood

2008-05-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

I started off wanting my blog to have a different personality than it does right now, but I think it would have to be a part-time job to make it into what I really envisioned it being. So, I will just have to settle for having it be mostly fluff and every once and awhile coming up with something that is somewhat thought provoking. I'm hoping this is one of those times, so without further ado, here is my post for the week:

My friend Michelle at the Mama Chronicles did a post awhile back titled People Join the Sisterhood of Motherhood. She basically said that parenting is hard enough as it is, without feeling judged by other moms or like you are in competition against each other. Since then, a few small events have occurred that made me think about her post.

The first event happened at my children's co-op preschool. One mother brought her younger son to family day with the older one like usual, only the younger one had a bad cough. She explained that it was bronchitis and not contagious. Apparently, one of the other mothers didn't hear the explanation or didn't trust the other mom and made a big stink about it to the teacher. The teacher then made the mom with the sick child feel bad for bringing him. The situation was not handled very compassionately and the mom with the sick baby left feeling totally unsupported and told me later that she had doubts about coming back.

The second event is much more uplifting. If you read my blog regularly or know me in real life, you know that I have a daughter that has some special needs. A few days ago I got an e-mail from another co-op mom (not mentioned above) telling me what a great job I do dealing with my daughter's issues and what a great example I am to other mothers. This person has quietly given me support for some time, so this was just icing on the cake. Things like that tend to stick with me and give me strength when I really need it.

I have realized that we as mothers have the ability to make this job harder for one another or easier. We can be judgemental, or we can be accepting. We can can make each other feel isolated, or we can make each other feel supported. It doesn't matter if you are a stay-at-home mom, a working mom or somewhere in between, we are all doing our best as moms and we should be able to count on each other. So, on the eve of Mother's Day weekend, I would like to invite every mother who reads this, to join the Sisterhood of Motherhood. Besides just honoring your own mother, think about how you can reach out and let another mom know that you are there for her or make her load just a little bit easier to bear. I would like to end by sharing the acrostic poem that my friend, Michelle, wrote in her inspring post (I hope she doesn't mind):

Many different things in different homes
One sisterhood
Togetherness
Hugs
Empathy
Respect
Indebtedness
Nice words
Grace

Happy Mother's Day!

BTW, the hands are my great-grandmother's, grandmother's, mother's, mine and my daughter's.

May Day, May Day!

2008-05-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

A very good friend of mine sent me these today, for no other reason than to say Happy May Day and that she misses me (she lives across the state so we don't see each other as much as we'd like). It reminded me of when I was a kid and my mom would have my brother and I leave flowers, usually lilacs off our bushes, on our neighbors' doorsteps on May Day. We would ring the bell and then run away. So, I thought my son might have fun delivering some flowers of his own. Thankfully, we live close to a greenhouse so it was a snap to grab some flowers and pots. We left one for each of my nieces to find after school and one for my mother-in-law to find after work. My son really did get a kick out of secretly delivering flowers and anticipating how excited the recipients would be. Here is what ours looked like:

Happy May Day!!

A Thursday Meme

2008-05-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

7 Randon Things About Me:

1) I recently started working from home, about 5 hours a week, for my husband's moving company. I handle claims, which means when someone's furniture or property gets damaged during their move, I try to make it right again. People either love me (because their stuff get fixed) or hate me (because I have to deny their claim).

2) I often have feelings of being a bad mom, but then I look at my kids and see how happy they are most of the time. I have to say to myself, "extend some grace to yourself, you are not perfect, but you are doing a pretty good job."

3) I have a new nephew!! He was born a week and a half ago. I have not seen him yet, other than pictures. I am waiting to go make a visit until the new parents get settled a little.

4) I am a die hard ER fan. I think I started watching around 2003. Then after I had my son, I started watching all the reruns on TNT while I was stuck to the couch nursing my little guy around the clock. I think I have seen every episode ever made.

5) I have a really great husband. He is super busy with work, but still makes time to spend with the kids and me and has sacrificed his own hobbies to do so. He is very supportive of almost anything I do, and after 12 years of being together, he still makes me feel beautiful.

6) I have a fear of fire, particularly that my house will catch on fire while my family is sleeping in their beds. I know the root of this fear--my aunt and uncle's home burned to the ground when I was about eight. They got out okay, but some of their animals did not. I remember watching the story on the news. Still, knowing the root of my fear, does not make it go away. Maybe I should be hypnotized or something.

7) Housework is the bane of my existence. I envy people who actually seem to enjoy cleaning or have some motivation that has escaped me.

I think I have a pretty random list there. Now the hard part, tagging 7 more people. This is especially hard since I haven't been a very goody bloggy friend lately (see number 1 above) and don't want to just pop onto someone's blog and tag them after not having visited for awhile. So, I will just say if you are reading this, you are tagged. If you don't have a blog, leave a list in the comments (it doesn't have to be as detailed as mine) or post them on your myspace page.

Seeing Red

2008-04-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is me after attempting to dye my own hair. I had been going for flirty-fun, not haha-fun, but go ahead and have a good laugh.

Things that made me laugh even though I was extremely depressed and humiliated after doing this to MYSELF:

A story on the evening news about a Phoenix man who played a huge hoax by attaching flares to helium balloons and releasing them into the night sky. Apparently thousands of people believed they were seeing a UFO.

Lunesta commercials that say "Call your doctor right away if after taking Lunesta you walk, drive, eat or engage in other activities while asleep." Do people actually take this stuff and just hope they don't take drive their kids to school while they're still asleep?

Things I have learned from this harrowing experience:

Some things are worth paying a professional, hair coloring and dental work being at the top of the list.

In times of tragedy, count your blessings. Like for example, I don't look half-bad in hats.

I am way too insecure about what people think of me.

I should have more faith in my friends and aquaintances and believe that they are not so shallow as to judge me as a person based on my physical appearance.

The Inernet is my friend. After I pulled myself together, I went to my computer and typed in "removing semi permanent hair dye" and found this page. I tried multiple washings and using hot oil, but ultimately opted for a chemical product called Color Oops.

Aah, much better!

New Book Blog!!

2008-04-27T16:21:00.000-07:00

Check out the new book review blog my friend in Ohio and I just set up: Meg and Mag's Bookshelf. I just posted a book review of Expecting Adam. This is my favorite thing about the Internet, being able to work on a project with my friend that lives clear across the country! Stop by and give us your reading recommendations.

Book Review: Siblings Without Rivalry

2008-04-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

I finished reading Siblings Without Rivalry a few weeks ago, but for some reason didn't get around to writing a review of it. I read it for the parenting book club that I attend. It was a really easy read and had lots of examples that the authors took from parenting seminars that they taught. There were several pieces of advice that have stuck with me since reading it and that I am trying to follow:

Not taking sides in an argument between siblings
Helping children solve their own disagreements
Emphasizing teamwork, not competion among siblings
Not casting children into roles within the family
Valuing each child fo their uniqueness

Some of this stuff may seem like it is for people with older children than mine, but I want to take a proactive approach on this issue. I would rather be educated early on so that I can prevent as much sibling rivalry as possible. I want my children to be good friends and I hope this is not too much to ask for. I don't want them to see the other one as their competion for attention, love, etc.

This book also made me realize that it is not too late to develop a closer relationship with my brother. The authors describe how many of the people in their workshop ended up having revelations about their own relationships with their siblings and went on to try and repair those relationships. My brother and I are five years apart and have totally different interests and have never really been close. However, I think if I just made more of an effort to stay in contact, we could be closer than we are now. Especially since we share the bond of both being parents now.

Right now I am reading three books at once, something I don't normally do. They are:

Expecting Adam

Operating Instructions

Practically Perfect In Every Way

My friend Michelle and I are planning to start a blog together, completely devoted to book reviews and I hope to have it up and running before I finish all those books, so check back soon for the link. Michelle is great at picking good books, so I think it will be an interesting blog.

It's the Process, Not the Product!

2008-04-12T21:22:00.001-07:00

While my husband was out of town, I decided to do a fun, kid friendly meal, and hopefully distract my son from the fact that Daddy was not home for dinner. I thought we would make sandwich faces. Here is what I envisioned them looking like:

My son, however, had different ideas. First of all, he didn't want any cream cheese on his and then decided to use the goldfish (I had intended them to go on the side) as his main adornment. Later, I let him make one with peanutbutter and raisins.

They are both supposed to be monsters. The first one is a one-eyed monster with a very large mouth. The second one has 14 eyes and a row of raisins for the mouth at the bottom of the face.
Sometimes I have a really hard time not getting frustrated with him when I have this great vision worked up in my head of how a project is going to turn out. I have to remind myself that it is the process and also spending time together that matter the most. I also have to remember that he is not always going to be interested in every activity that I think sounds really fun, and it won't be a good time for either of us if I push him into it. I would like to hear if anyone has any other thoughts on this or similar experiences.

P.S. We are still planning to do a cooking project with the edible googly eyes from our swap partners but decided to wait and use them on some sort of dessert, since the main ingredient is Milk Duds (probably wouldn't be too great with garlic flavored ceam cheese).

Warming Up

2008-04-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

I was beginning to think we were living in the land that spring forgot, but it was beautiful in our neck of the woods this weekend. The kids and I spent about three hours at the park soaking in the sunshine, having a picnic, feeding the ducks and, of course, playing on the playground. My husband, Jeff, was out of town for the weekend, so the kids and I were on our own. So besides the weather warming up, we are also warming up for our business' busy season. We own a moving company and summer is the time when we do the most volume. It won't be long and Jeff will practically be living at the office. I sometimes complain that he is busiest when the weather's the nicest and we could be out biking or camping together, but the truth is, it is probably much better that I can take the kids to the park and do things outdoors when Jeff is tied up with work. If I had to spend the long, dark winter without him around, it would be so much worse.

Doodling

2008-04-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

Science Night & Clinton/Obama Balloon Races

2008-04-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

My son's co-op preschool recently had a science night. Have I mentioned how much I love co-ops? His teacher did such a great job planning it and it was so much fun. These were the stations she had set up:

1) Volcanoes:
The kids would dump a cup of baking soda into a clay volcano and then pour in a cup of vinegar (with red food coloring) and watch the eruption. My husband was in charge of this station and it was one of the most popular.

2) Water and Oil "Lava Lamps":
The kids would fill a water bottle (lable removed) a little over halfway with water, then add oil, food coloring and a small rubber toy. The lid was then glued on and they could shake it up and then watch what happened when it settled again.

3) Slime:
I don't know what recipe they used for this since I was manning the lava lamp station most of the night, plus my son wanted nothing to do with it. He gets his neatness trait honestly from his dad.

4) Rainbow Carnations:
Each child got to take home a white carnation that was stuck into a florist's vial that was filled with food coloring. By morning our carnation had turned turquoise on the tips of all the petals.

5) Microscope and Magnifying Glass:
Pretty self-explanatory, but also pretty engaging for the kids.

6) Balloon Rockets:
The kids got blow balloons up with these little handheld pumps (great for preschoolers that can't blow balloons up yet) and then shoot them off down the hallway. Plus each kid got to take home a balloon and pump. My son played with his the entire next morning.

Then his two cousins, Big T and Little T, came over after school. He showed them his balloon and pump, which reminded Big T of an experiment that her class did at school with balloon airplanes. We decided to replicate it at home. We took fishing line and tied it to a chair, then threaded it through a straw and tied the other end to another chair. We did this twice so that we could have races. Then we took two balloons, blew them up, taped them to the straws and let go! This kept all three kids busy for most of the afternoon :)

It got me thinking though, maybe this is how each political party should choose their presidential canidates in the future. They could write each contenders name on a balloon and just let 'em rip. It would be a much less painful process and definitely more clear cut then the Clinton/Obama race. Plus you wouldn't have the primary canidates (who are supposed to be on the same team) tearing each other apart, and we wouldn't have to deal with all the ugly tv ads and hideous yard signs. Come to think of it, we could decide the whole election this way, not just the primaries. After all, when it is all said and done, we still end up with a politician in the White House no matter what.

THANK YOU, SWAP PARTNERS!!

2008-04-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

We got packages from both our swap partners yesterday. Both packages were extremely creative, but very different from each other.

This one was from Mama Bird at Surely You Nest and her two children.

Their package was full of really unique projects for the kids and I to do together. They sent us the ingredients to make bath bombs, which is very cool because that is the type of project I would think sounds really fun, but would never go and track down all the ingredients. They also sent us the materials to make edible googly eyes, little pots with sunflower seeds and soil, and some craft supplies. My son is dying to make the googly eyes, but I want to wait until after we go to the grocery store so that we can get the stuff to make sandwich faces to the put the googly eyes on. I think the sunflower seeds are going to be great too since he has been really interested in a new book that we got about sunflowers (I mentioned it in an early post). I think I am most excited to make the bath bombs and then see my kids' reaction when we put them in the tub.

This one was from the mama over at The Belly Chronicles and her two children:

They sent us an ocean themed package, which included a beautiful book about shells, drift wood, a conch shell, a heart-shaped rock and two amazing handmade felt journals with my kids' names on them (I will have to find out how they made these). This package really touched me because I had mentioned in the questionaire how we love the ocean but don't live anywhere near it. It probably would have been more accurate to say that I love the ocean and want my children to develop an appreciation for it too, so it was really neat to have these artifacts come into our home that they can touch and feel. My son immediately sat down to write in his journal and then wanted to use the driftwood to pretend he was camping. It was also very sweet of them to include a knitted ear-muff for me.

After receiving the packages my son said that he wants to go on an airplane and meet his swap partners. This has been a wonderful experience for us. My son has gotten the idea of an exchange and developed a curiosity for maps, and I feel like I have made some new blogger friends. Thank you again to my swap partners and everyone who participated.

Thursday Meme

2008-04-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

I was tagged for a meme by Mama Bird at Surely You Nest. She is one of my partners in the Little People Care Package Swap. So here goes:

Ten Years Ago...I was finishing up my freshmen year at Washington State University. By then I had already decided to change my major to education, after trying interior design and communications for a semester each. I eventually did get a degree in elementary education. I was also newly engaged to my now husband. We will celebrate our nine year anniversary next month. People are always surprised when they hear how long we're married and I can see them doing calculations in their head trying to figure out how old we are. It doesn't help that I look younger than I am anyway.

What's On My To-Do List:

1) Clean-out my office. I have started working from home about 10 hours a week, helping my husband with his business. I could be a lot more efficient if I wasn't tripping over piles of junk trying to reach the printer or digging through mountains of debris in order to find a paperclip.

2) Buy a birthday gift for my nephew who is turning four. His party is tomorrow. Part of me is tempted to buy him a garage for his toy cars (he loves the one at our house), but I know it would be much more practical to buy him some summer clothes. I really appreciate it when my children get clothes for birthdays and Christmases.

3) Bug the Shriners until they agree to see my daughter. She has loose tendons in her ankles which her physical therapist now believes are at the root of her inability to walk. My previous experience thus far in trying to get her the services she needs tells me that I just need to keep making phone calls and be as sweet as I can while I'm doing it. BTW, I am not a phone person, so this is somewhat torturous for me.

If I Had a Billion Dollars...I would set up a program like the drop-in centers that I heard about at Mama's Village in the US. They are free facilities (apparently all over Toronto) where parents can take their children, meet up with other families and get information and support during the first six years of their children's lives. They often have crafts and some of them have gyms where the kids can ride bikes and such. My family is involved in a co-op preschool which serves a lot of the same pursposes, but we also pay $100/month to be members and it is only available to us certain days and hours. I have always heard that other countries are more family-friendly than the US, but have only recently been getting a taste of why people say that.

3 Bad Habits:

1) Drinking Coke or Pepsi (I'm not picky) pretty much everyday. I keep telling myself if I could only kick the habit, I could probably lose 10 pounds easily. Does anyone know of a Cola Drinkers Annonymous group I could join?

2) Letting the laundry pile up.

3) Ignoring the things I should really do in order to do the things I want to do.

5 Jobs I've Had:

1) Dishwasher in one of my college's cafeterias--I would have to scrape food and paper products off people's trays and into a trough that would take it into a giant composter. The water running through the trough was orange because it was recyled through the composter. Have you ever smelled compost in large quantities?

2) Clerk at a Rite-Aid--I spent an entire summer asking people if they wanted to sign-up for a Rite-Aid card and "facing" shelves (moving the items to the front of the shelf).

3) Filing Clerk--I spent another summer doing almost nothing but filing papers. It was more boring than "facing" shelves.

4) Day Camp Counselor for the YMCA--I don't know if I would call forcing five-year-olds to do crafts, go on nature walks and play organized games fun, but at least I was outdoors.

5) Subsititute Teacher--worse than being a dishwasher.

*The best job I ever had was the year I taught third grade in Stockton, CA. The only reason I quit was because I decided to be a stay-at-home mom.

5 Things About Me:

1) I love to sleep and am so thankful that my kids are good sleepers. If they weren't I would never had time to blog.

2) I love to read and often feel a compulsion to read. I feel like if I am not reading something everyday, I am going to get stupider.

3) I am really bad with due dates. I often have fines at the library and started using Netflix to avoid fines at the videostore. It is a miracle that I mailed my swap packages on time, but I still have not mailed birthday presents to two my friends' little boys (their birthdays were Feb. 21 and March 10). So, it is sort of wierd that both my children were born on their due dates.

4) I have a loud and unusual laugh. I think it surprises people, because I am generally a quiet person. My children love it when I laugh.

5) I am a lapsed-Baptist. I don't know if I've heard that phrase before, but I have heard lapsed-Catholic several times. Anyway, my husband I have had a hard time finding church since moving back to Washington. We tried one for awhile until we started to feel like maybe it was a cult. Then we tried being Methodists for awhile until we realized that we would have to go through a whole process of confirmation before we could become members (plus there were no kids anywhere near our kids' ages). We also tried a foursquare church but everyone there was really phony--the type of people that give Christians a bad name. It has been about a year since I have even gone to church and I think I am ready to try again, but I will have to muster some bravery from somewhere first.

I am tagging my other swap partner at The Belly Chronicles.

Nothing To Do But Sit Back and Wait

2008-04-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

Yay! We mailed our packages off to our two swap partners today! I waited until the last minute, which is sort of my MO, but I also had a lot of family stuff come up over the weekend that prevented me from finishing up a bit early. I have to admit that I am much more nervous than I thought I would be over what our partners will think of the stuff we sent. Is it creative enough? Did I send enough? Are my sewing skills good enough? I am going to wait until our partners have received their packages before posting any pictures--I don't want to give anything away. I know as a mom I like to be surprised along with my kids.

I am going to keep this post short, it is getting late and my son has already made me promise that I will help him make one of the things we sent off today for him to play with.

Photo Friday

2008-03-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

New Year's Resolution Update

2008-03-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be fun to document my progress on my New Year's Resolutions. One of my resolutions was to declutter my house with the help of the book It's All Too Much. I decided to concentrate on four rooms first: kitchen, dinining room, living room and tv room. My husband sat down with me and we made a plan for each room, per the book's instructions. We decided what we wanted each room to be used for and what was standing in the way of our vision for those rooms. One big shift we made in our thinking was to realize that our living room is not a formal room even though our nice furniture is in there. It is the room we spend the most time in as a family and where the kids spend most of their time playing. We decided to buy a storage unit for that room for some of the kid's toys, books and games, as well as our books and magazines.

Now the coffee table is kept clear and ready for games or puzzles instead of being stacked with books and magazines.

By rearranging the furniture slightly we were also able to open up an area in our bay window which our son now calls the play corner.

We also emptied our china hutch of all the knick knacks and junk that was being stored in there and got rid of most of it. The hutch is now a place for all the kid's art and craft supplies, rather having them crammed into a big plastic tub.

The living room has had the most dramatic changes, but there have been small changes in the other rooms too. I feel like I've made a lot of good changes, but that I need to get re-energized and start the next phase.

Another resolution of mine was to decide what to get my master's degree in. One possibility of course is get a master's degree in education with an emphasis on some area that would make me more marketable (the area I live in is a very difficult place to get hired as a teacher). Recently I went to a meeting on Montessori teaching at the elementary level. The woman doing the presentation is a Montessori teacher in a magnet program within the public schools. She is trying to recruit more teachers to get their Montessori training so that they can expand the program. What I found so interesting about this program is that they do not change their curriculum with the latest trends in education, yet their students pass the state tests at over a 90% rate, compared with an average of 50% for the rest of the district (probably why the district wants to expand the program). Besides using the same tried and true curriculum, in a Montessori classroom the teacher plans for each child on an individual basis depending on their abilities and interests. In addition all the lessons are given in small groups--whole group instruction is rarely used. Learning about Montessori has gotten me excited about teaching again and thinking that this is a path that I want to explore more.

My third resolution was to watch less TV and have my son do the same. Since the writers' strike dragged on forever, this has not been a problem for me. I started giving my son three tickets worth 30 minutes of screen time. I am surprised by how quickly he has figured out the system and how well he handles it when he is out of tickets and I have to tell him no more screen time.

I feel like I am making good progress on my goals for the year and I would like to add one more: organize my digital pictures and buy a computer program that will allow me to create slide shows with them that can be played on a DVD player.

Hint, Hint!

2008-03-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

We have been working at getting our packages ready for the Little People Care Package Swap this week. We actually have two partners, so I feel pretty safe that I am not giving too much away. I could have plenty of fun creating the packages all by myself, but I am trying to involve my son in the process as much as possible. I really like the idea of choosing themes, so I had him pick which ones we would use. I also took him shopping with me to the craft store and second- hand book store, but he didn't enjoy that part too much, and of course wanted one of everything we bought for himself too. He did have fun doing a test run of one of the projects that we are going to send one of our partners the materials to create.

We have one partner in Northern California and another in Washington, D.C. This has been a really good opportunity to learn a little bit more about maps. Two book we have found that do a good job teaching children about maps are Mapping Penny's World and Me On the Map. When I was teaching, my third grade students had a really difficult time understanding the concept of maps. They had difficulty understanding the difference between a state and a city and how a continent could be made up of many countries. I feel like part of the problem was just a lack of exposure to maps and how to use them.

Then last night I was doing some reading on play and its role in early childhood education and found a great article on the Waldorf Research Institute's website. The author, Joan Almon, says that children who have had ample time to play and develop their imaginations have an advantage in subjects like history, reading, geography and even mathematics, because all those areas ask children to conceptualize or to think abstractly. That statement was very eye-opening to me. I already knew play was an important part of childhood and that children could learn many things naturally through play, but I had never understood the implications it could have on future academics. In fact I recently attended a seminar on play and they didn't mention this point at all! I think I would like to do more reading on this subject and devote an entire post to play.

I hope the packages that we create for our partners can spark some imaginations and create some new opportunities for playing!

Borrowed or Bought: We Love Books!

2008-03-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

My son sometimes goes through periods where he is not as interested in reading as he is at other times. When this happen I know it is time for some new books to rekindle his love of reading. Right now we have lots of new books at our house because our Scholastic book order came in and we went to the library to exchange our old library books for new ones. I personally love good children's books and thought I would share a handful of my current favorites.

An Egg is Quiet
The illustrations and layout of this book are absolutely beautiful. I also like it because you can choose to read only the main points and still have a cohesive story for younger children, or you can read the more detailed information if your audience has a longer attention span or has questions.

Come On, Rain!
When reading this story you can easily put yourself in the main character's shoes and feel how desperate she is for rain. It is also has a fun ending and I like the watercolor illustrations--very fitting for a story about rain.

This is the Sunflower
I am not a big fan of books with cumulative rhymes, but my son really enjoys this book and it does a nice job of showing what flowers need to grow, as well as how birds help to spread seeds around.

Living Color
This is a non-fiction book that shows children the variety of color that animals can be and teaches them about many exotic animals. This is not a book you would want to read in one sitting, but rather take your time looking at over a couple days.

Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late!
My son loves the silly and off-beat humor in this book. It is part of a series and I believe we have checked them all out at the library at one time or another. He was extremely excited to find out I had bought this one for him. When it come to books, I don't mind spoiling my children at all.

Little Pea
I have saved the best for last. This is the funniest and most creative children's book I have read in a long time. I am tempted to give a hint as to what makes it so funny, but I don't want to ruin the element of surprise. It is by the same author that wrote the OK Book, another very entertaining story.

If you have an recommendations for children's books, I would love to hear them.

Creating Little Consumers

2008-03-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago, my husband and I attended a seminar at the co-op preschool our children attend. Our guest speaker was a financial planner and she spoke mainly about how to teach your children to use money responsibly and instill in them a sense that they need to work for the things they want. Her recommendation was to start a comission based allowance program when your children are very young, beginning with a few simple chores that they are paid daily for completing, and then modify it as your children get older.

I have wavered back and forth on the idea of giving my children an allowance that is attached to chores. Part of me thinks that they should do chores just because they are part of our family and it is their responsibility as a member of our family to help out. Another part of me wants them to know what it is like to work and save for something that they really want. One thing that my husband and I have considered doing is requiring our son to be responsible for picking up his own toys and clothes without receiving a monetary reward, but giving him an allowance for doing other things like feeding the cat or stocking the cupboards after we return from Costco. Then there is the part of me that doesn't want them to worry about money at all until they are teenagers. I know it is central to our way of life, but I don't want them to grow up too fast and think too much about what they can buy.

The speaker also touched on consumerism and commericialism. Then today, our co-op preschool went on a trip to a locally based company that produces children's dishware. You know, the kind plastered with cartoon characters. I thought the juxtaposition of the two events was interesting.

I thought they were going to let the kids meet the designers and see the process of how the dishware is created. I think it would have been valuable for them to see what goes into making a product. Instead, they had the kids participate in a focus group and asked them to name each of the characters on the dishes and tell who was their favorite and least favorite. I guess I just didn't see the value in that, I already feel like it is hard enough to shield my kids from all the advertising everyone in our society is bombarded with. My husband and I record most everything we watch and fast forward through the commercials, and our son mostly watches PBS or videos from the libarary or Netflix. We also don't buy many products for our children with characters on them.

I'm curious to know what others' thoughts are on allowance for children and consumerism/commericialism aimed at children, so leave me a comment! Two different topics, but definitely related in my opinion.

Little People Care Package Swap

2008-03-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

Sign-ups are now closed!

If you didn't sign-up in time for this swap, send an us an e-mail anyway saying that you would like to be notified next time we host a swap. Thanks to all 35 of our participants for making this a swap a successs!

You are invited to participate in a swap for the wee ones. The emphasis here is on the little ones (ages 2-10) and the idea is to send out a care package to help get through the end of winter blahs. Hopefully it will also help our kids make friends with someone far away while creatively constructing a fun package for someone they have never met.
You do not have to pick out a theme but that would probably be helpful as you pick items to send. It would be best to stay away from commercialized themes like Elmo, Barbie, and such. Instead a good theme might be make believe, mail, library, art, etc. You can make, buy, or send gently used items. If you choose to spend money then the upper end should be about 10 dollars plus shipping (this does not include the value you have of anything you choose to send from your home or the value of your time.) The swaps will be organized by family groups. So you may have 2 children and swap with a family that has 1 or more children.

Things that should definitely be included in your package:
A picture of your family or at least the kids
A postcard or map of where you are from or photograph of your city/ house
A note, either written or dictated and transcribed by an adult

The commitment for this swap is :
1) email your partner introducing your family and answering a few provided questions
2) one package shipped by April 1
3) either an email thank you or send a thank you card in response.
If you choose to do any more that is up to you. But this is the minimum.

To join in send an email to megandmag(at)gmail(dot)com In your email include your name, the names of your children, their ages and genders, your location, and how you heard about the swap. The deadline to sign up is March 10 or when we reach 50 participants, which ever comes first. Hurry, it is filling up fast! My co-conspirator and I will try to match up similar age families, but can not make any promises. If you are from outside the US, you must be willing to ship internationally. If you are inside the US, it is not required that you are willing to ship internationally, as we already have many families willing to do so.

Some ideas are:

Art: You could send a smock and art supplies, along with some art from your child. You could include a portfolio case and some gently read books that have some of your favorite art. You could also send instructions for your family's favorite art projects along with the necessary materials.

Mail: You could sew a mail bag, make some stationary by drawing or stamping designs on paper, buy a bunch of 1 cent stamps, envelopes and other mail related items.

Games/Puzzles/Riddles: You could send some puzzles that your children have already put together (make sure all the pieces are there), send a deck of cards with instructions for different games, sew a checkerboard and have your children help you find a creative way to make the game pieces. You could also help your child write and illustrate a book of riddles to include.

Building: You could send some Legos or other type of building blocks, then include pictures of structures that your children have made for the recipient to try and replicate.

Playdough: You could make playdough and send some utensils and cookie cutters to use with it. You could have your child decorate disposable tupperware to store it in. (Check with the shipping company to make sure they will allow this to be shipped).

Gardening: You could send some pots and seeds (you could even focus on plants native to your area if you want), along with some books about plants or spring. You could also sew a gardening apron or tool belt.

Reading: You could make a book tote for going to the library, have your child choose some of their own books to put in it, then either make or purchase some bookmarks.

You could do a grab bag of unrelated items.

You can also have your child select some of their gently used toys, games or books to give to their new friends.

These are just suggestions so feel free to be creative. Remember to keep in mind the ages of the recipients. It is also a good idea to wrap up the things being sent so that the kids can enjoy opening up packages. Just keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun and every child that sends a gift will be expectantly watching the post for something in return. It is fun to swap between kids because they are so excited by the little things and notice all the subtleties. Whatever you end up sending make sure your children have a lot of the input.

Feel free to leave a comment with any questions. I will check back and post replies.*If this swap sounds a lot like the mini swap hosted by Mommy Coddles it is because that swap inspired us but we were too late to get involved.* Also, please feel free to post this info on your blog as well--we would like to get people involved from as many different places as possible. Also, we have created a blog for the swap--check it out, as well as the blogs of some of our participants!

Book Review: The Appeal by John Grisham

2008-03-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

I finished this book over a week ago, but haven't been that excited to write a review, probably because the book itself was somewhat of a disappointment. I have been a John Grisham fan since high school and have read nearly every book he has ever written, but The Appeal has to be my least favorite. If I could describe this book in one word it would be SOAPBOX.

It's not that I don't agree with what he is saying, we do need campaign finance reform in this country. It would be nice to know that our elected officials are not being bought by special interest groups and were only are representing the interests of their constituents. However, if an author is going to use a fictional story as a way to express thier political beliefs, I think it should be done much more subtely. This book could have been so much better if he had only focused on the story and not the message he wanted to send. It did pick up in the last section of the book and there were some twists that I didn't see coming, but in the end Grisham just couldn't get off his soapbox and give his readers the kind of story we are used to getting from him.

Oh Happy Day!

2008-03-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

Last night was a good night and today is looking pretty good, too. First, we have started getting lots of people signing up for the swap. Thank you to Melanie at Mommy Doodles and Lori at Camp Creek Press. They were both generous enough to do posts announcing the swap and it has helped tremendously.

Second, the sun is shining and it was warm enough to take the kids by the park after preschool today! Yay!! There are still patches of snow on the ground, but the slides and swings were dry. We spent a full half hour there before the kids started thinking about lunch.

Also, I finally finished my series of cut paper illustrations last night. I still need to mount them onto a black background that will provide a border around each one. Then I plan to laminate and bind them.

One of my goals with this project was to not get too caught up in being a perfectionist. I tried to just go with my first attempt, and if I felt myself getting too fussy about anything, I would put it aside and come back to it later. Here are a few of my favorites from the series (some you might have seen in an earlier post):

And here are the ones that I struggled with the most:

Did I mention the title?

I have trouble photographing art, so if anyone has any tips, I would appreciate them. Anyway, I had fun with this project, and I hope my kids enjoy the end result.

In Search of Balance

2008-03-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend of mine told me she was worried about me. At first I was like, why would she be worried about me? But this friend is very intuitive and much more in touch with her own feelings than I am, so I decided to take a little time for self-reflection. And I had to admit that 1) the last couple of years there have been so many changes in my life, it has been hard to feel stable and 2) I have been struggling for a long time with the fact that no matter what I do as a mother, a wife, an individual, I feel like I am letting someone else in the equation down. This leads to a tremendous amount of guilt (I've blogged about this before), which can at times leave me feeling depressed.

This friend also pointed out that I do a very good job of supporting what my husband wants or decides to pursue, but that maybe I'm putting my own desires on the back burner in the process. That is a fair statement. However, I do know that my husband would support me also, if I could just figure out what it is I really want to pursue and stick to a decision. I sometimes feel lost in motherhood, but this conversation made me realize that not only is it a gift to be with my children, but it is also a gift to have this time to do some exploring and find out who I truly am, who I want to become and be confident in showing that person to the world.

That leads me back to my original struggle: how do I find the time to experiment with writing and art yet still feel like I am being a good mother (i.e. not ignoring my children) and a good wife (i.e. keeping the house decent, not ignoring my spouse once the kids are in bed)? Well, I have actually had the answer for a long time, the trouble is I am not a morning person. Never have been, ask my mom. I didn't even want her to speak to me when I was getting ready for school in the morning, and she could forget about getting me to eat breakfast. Maybe it is time for that to change. There is one thing I could give up (or at least cut way back on) in my life that would not make me feel like I am sacrificing some essential part of myself: TV. If I wasn't staying up late to watch all my shows on DVR after my hubby has gone to sleep, I could probably get up at the same time as him. That would give me two whole hours before the kids get up! Part of the reason I writing about this is that I hope by putting it out into the blogosphere, I will feel more committed to following through. That is why people share their new year's resolutions or tell everyone they know about their weight loss plans--making it public makes it harder to give up.

This may seem like a small thing, but I think having balance in your life can lead to true happiness. And speaking of happiness, that same friend that was worried about me, also sent me the link to a great blog, a good + happy day. It is all about activities to do with your children and the simple joys of parenthood. When I visited this blog I was instantly struck by how much that is how I want to embrace life, like each day is going to be a good and happy day. I want my children to feel my excitement for life, my joy at being with them. I want to smile more and stress less! I hope everyone has a good + happy day, and I hope you all have friends who care enough to know when you just need someone to worry about you a little.

"Bitch is the New Black!"

2008-02-25T09:53:00.000-08:00

I almost couldn't believe my ears. I turned to my husband and said, "I can't believe Tina Fey just said that!!" She was the guest host on SNL this weekend and did a monologue during the Weekend Update, chiding women voters for not supporting Hillary . You can check it out here.

Hearing her say that made me think about a conversation I had with my mom, mother-in-law, and two sisters-in-law last summer at a barbeque/pool party. Somehow the issue of Hillary running for president came up and I said at the time that I would break with my party and vote for her soley based on the fact that she is a woman. My mom then said that she doesn't believe that a woman should be president--that men are supposed to be the leaders. My mother-in-law agreed with her and said that it wouldn't be biblical.

What?!! What?!! I nearly choked on my hot dog. "Don't you know the bible was written by men?" I asked. I sort of cringed after saying that, thinking that my mother-in-law surely believes I am going to hell now. One of my sister-in-laws got really upset and said, "Then do you think that I shouldn't have a career?" Needless to say it was a very tense conversation and I think we all just dropped it before things got ugly.

This was back before Obama had really come on the scene with his inspirational speeches and promises of change. I have to say he has swooned me a little. I really believe this country is ready for change and I don't know if having the same two families take turns running the country is really my idea of change, even if one of them is a woman. I know Obama has been criticized for his lack of exerpience, but frankly, I like the idea of having a president that has not been so jaded by a lifetime in politics. My husband and I did not caucus on February 9th because to participate in the primary process in Washington you have to pledge allegiance to a certain party. We are frustrated by our country's two-party system and now consider ourselves independents. We are pulling for Obama though and hope we can cast our vote for him come November. Sorry Ms. Fey!

5555 Book Meme

2008-02-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

I was tagged for a book meme by Jennifer over at Dust Bunny Hostage. I am supposed to choose my favorite book, turn to page 55, copy the first 5 lines on that page and then tag 5 more people. I have two problems with this, first Jennifer already used my all-time favorite book, Daisy Faye and the Miracle Man. I have read that book every few years since I was 12-years-old whenever I really needed cheering up. Second, since I usually go to the library, I don't have a huge selection of books at home to choose from. So, this isn't neccessarily from my favorite book, but it is from one I really enjoyed and have read more than once.

Every parent watched through the lens of a videocamera. Weary shoppers trudged along, lugging shopping bags, bumping into others, fighting with their children.

Luther had never felt prouder.

Across the way, he saw a new sporting goods store. He strolled over, noticing through the window that there was a crowd inside and certainly not enough cashiers.

Okay, now leave your guess as to what book it is in the comments. I will put the answer in the comments on Wednesday. Hint: The author is southern and this is not his usual genre.

Lastly, if you like to read, consider yourself tagged. Leave a comment on this post when you have posted your meme, so I can visit and make a guess of my own.

Boy Art

2008-02-21T16:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I find it challenging to get my son excited about doing art projects. This has been somewhat disappointing to me since I consider doing an art project with him the perfect way to spend an afternoon at home. Recently I realized that maybe it isn't that he isn't interested in art, just not the type of projects I was suggesting. So I have tried to be more creative and find projects that appeal to the sensibilities of a 4-year-old boy. Here are the results:

This project started because my son was taking pom-poms and cutting them up. I said that it looked like fur and maybe we could use it to make an animal or something. I think he came up with the idea to make a monster. I drew the outline of the body and colored the face. My son added the foam horns, claws and googly eyes.

The next project we did was painting with unusual objects. Cousin N was here for this one. We bought the plastic cars at Target for $1.00 each. Most of the other objects are from our kitchen.

The first two paintings are done with just the cars and the second two are done with all the tools.

I think they had just as much fun cleaning up as they did painting!

I have also found that my son considers some of his building projects to be art. His preschool teacher said that she always took pictures of her son's creations to make it easier for him to take them apart, so I have adopted the habit as well.

Give Me Some Wood...Hey! Don't Cut Off My Rock Supply!

2008-02-19T16:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, the title of this post may sound a little shady, but I'm really referring to a great game called Settlers of Catan. My husband and I were first introduced to this game back in the summer of 2005 by our good friends that we met when we lived in California. Everytime we get together we play this game and I have to say that the level of competition gets pretty intense. The only way I know how to explain Settlers of Catan is to say it is sort of like Monopoly on steroids and with a lot more strategy involved. Anyway, we don't get together with our friends very often since they now live in Ohio and we live in Washington, so we recently got our own copy of the game. At first we couldn't get my husband's family (our local game-playing gang) interested, but this last weekend we finally convinced them to play, and now they are all hooked! We have played the game about 5 times in the last three days (it takes about 2 hours/game). We are trying to find an expansion pack now so that more of us can play at once. With the original game you can only have up to 4 players and the expansion pack allows up to 6 players. You probably wouldn't want more than 6 players because then it would take too long. If anyone else has played it I would like to hear what you think of it, plus any tips you want to give me for winning. I am going to call it beginners luck because I have not won any of the games I have played in recently, even with all my experience!

"Einstein Didn't Speak Until He Was Three"

2008-02-16T19:11:00.001-08:00

My 18-month-old daughter has developmental delays in gross motor skills and expressive language. This is still not easy for me to say (or write), but it would be infinitely harder to deal with if not for my husband's attitude about the whole issue. He says things like "Einstein didn't speak until he was three," and "we already know she's different from other kids, the question is how much do we really want to worry about it." He says that society is telling us that there is something wrong with our child, but that she is going to develop just fine in her own time. She is just our little late bloomer he reassures me.

For a long time I avoided doing much research into what causes developmental delays. I think that I was overwhelmed enough just trying to process the results of her tests and then jumping all the hurdles that were necessary to get her into physical therapy. Recently I worked up the nerve to ask my daughter's therapist what causes these types of delays. The therapist said that there really isn't an explanation, some babies are just that way. So, I looked to the Internet. Surprisingly I didn't find a lot of info there either. What I did find didn't apply to my daughter, she doesn't have a genetic disorder and she wasn't born premature. I'm also pretty certain that she doesn't have autism either, given her social, emotional and receptive language abilities. I did find one article that said 8% of children from birth to six years have some type of developmental delays. For some reason I found that comforting, maybe she is not that different--8% seems like a pretty big number to me.

Before I had children and even after my first, I wondered how I would feel if I had a child that was somehow not "normal." I would see parents with children that had some type of disability or disorder and wonder if that changed how they felt about that child, and also if they felt closer or more bonded to their other children. Of course no one ever thinks that they will end up being in that situation themselves. But being on the other side of it now, I can honestly say that my daughter's differences don't change how I feel about her at all, and I don't feel any less bonded to her than I do to her brother. Sometimes it is difficult to be around other babies that are about the same age or even considerably younger than her, and see them doing and saying things that she can't yet. However when she does make progress or achieve a goal, it is so sweet.

My husband and I watched a lecture on PBS by the author of Go Put Your Strengths to Work the other night. The jist of it was that instead of focusing on your weaknesses and trying to improve in those areas, you should really be trying to find ways to play up your strengths and use them to your advantage. It made me think of our daughter and how we spend so much time worrying about what she can't do. I think instead we really need to celebrate her strengths and focus more on what a wonderful little girl she is.

Book Review: A Thousand Spledid Suns by Kahled Hosseini

2008-02-14T15:35:00.000-08:00

This was a book that I simply could not put down, even though through most of it I was sick to my stomach. Sick because while this is a fictional story, I know from other sources that it is an accurate portrayal of what life has really been like for many Afghan women and Muslim women in other countries. I have a real problem with a culture that treats women like caged animals--unable to even leave their houses without being escorted by a male relative. Hosseini also brings to life the horrors of war and political turmoil and the choices they force people to make.

Beyond the cultural and historical context Hosseini creates, the stories of the two heroines and how their lives become intertwined are heartbreaking as well. I found it very interesting that while the early lives of both Mariam and Laila were very different, they shared having mothers that seemed to not want them. I wonder if Hosseini's intention in creating this parallel was to make it more believable to the reader that they could bond relatively quickly and become one another's confidants.

I also found it interesting that while Laila was educated and Mariam was not, they both became dependant on a man for their survival. Of course in Laila's situation it was mainly due to a raging war and an oppresive atmosphere for women, but I think that even in America this still happens to a degree. Often educated women, women who once had good jobs, give all that up to become professional mothers. Suddenly, they find themselves completely dependant on their husbands or partners for financial security. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this, I am one of these women myself, I am just saying it can sometimes make you feel a little bit like a second-class citizen. Other times in this country we see women use their talents and education to back up their man. I happened to be listening to AM radio this morning and caught a little bit of Rush Limbaugh's show. He was saying that the only reason Hillary Clinton backed up Bill during all his scandals was so she could eventually have her turn to run (he was also using all kinds of adjectives to describe her which I guess are supposed to be bad in a women, but would probably be seen as evoking power in men). I don't know how fair of a statement that is about the Clintons, but maybe it says something about our country--that a woman can't even get the chance to run for president unless her husband has already held the office and everyone knows he will be in the White House right alongside her. But I digress and in all fairness, it really isn't fair to make such comparisons between the plights of Afghan and American women as we have so many more choices and opportunities, but I like to try to relate the books I read to my life and what is on my mind.

I really loved this book, especially the ending and the message it gave of how the human spirit can endure almost anything and still keep shining. I would love to get comments from anyone else who has read it and see what you found interesting or how it related to your life.

I Don't Think I'm a Republican Anymore...

2008-02-04T14:39:00.000-08:00

...but I'm not ready to call myself a Democrat, either. My dad has always been very conservative--he specifically believes in the right to bear arms and less government controls (interesting since he works for a branch of the USDA), and I think that I modeled a lot of my political beliefs after his from a young age. My mom also taught me when I was a preteen that abortion is murder. The first time I was old enough to participate in a presidential election I cast my vote for George W. Bush and again in 2004. But was I voting for the canidate that most represented my values or was I voting for who best represented my parent values? And I have to say that I am not happy with the direction our country is going in many areas.

Just recently I was reading an article in Mothering Magazine on whether or not we should try and instill our political beliefs into our children from a young age. The author of the article said that if we do so, we are running the risk of raising children that don't know how to think for themselves. I don't think that my parents were trying to brainwash me or anything like that, but I do think that children see things in black and white, instead of evaluating them and considering all the different viewpoints.

Then today when I got this week's issue of TIME, I discovered it has a handy little fold-out Voter's Guide that tells what each party basically believes on six of the key issues (education, immigration, trade, environment, Iraq and healthcare). According to TIME, I line up with the Republicans on 2 of the six issues and the Democrats on 4 of the six. But the issues I line up with the Republicans on are big ones for me: education and healthcare. In both of those cases, the Democrats want to create more government, while the Republicans want to return to more local controls in education and decrease bureaucracy in healthcare. Maybe I am not either, maybe I'm a libertarian or an independent, but regardless I still feel like I will need to choose either an R or a D or I will be wasing my vote. I need to do more investigating...to be continued....

Big and Little Art

2008-01-30T13:08:00.000-08:00

On Monday I discovered a blog called Big and Little Art. The purpose is for parents that like to create to model how to do a project alongside their child. That way both parent and child are creating something, instead of the parents just giving instruction or supervision. Some of the posts on the blog include projects were the child created part of the project and the parent added to it. I tried the most recent project, magnetic fish, with my son. It was a huge hit! Between making the fish and playing "fishing" it kept him occupied for a good hour and a half. I would also prefer doing art projects and games with him to acting out the same scenario over and over with the army men and dinosaurs.

We used one of our forts as a boat to catch our fish from.

Later ImagiKid wanted to use the magnetic "coins" and "pearls" that came with the Magnet Mania kit that we got our magents from as treasure.

My son actually discoverd other fishing activities in the booklet that came with the Magnet Mania kit. These ones were made from tinfoil and paperclips. We made these today and ImagiKid and Cousin N had a great time together. Not only are we snowed in and school is cancelled but we also have two cousins staying with us while their mom is away on business.

Later Big Cousin T made a treasure hunt for the boys using the "coins," "pearls," and other objects from around the house. She buried them in Moon Sand. BTW, this is about all Moon Sand is good for--so messy and doesn't mold into shapes like advertised.

The hunt is on!

The loot! My 10-year-old niece (Big T) actually took this picture and the previous one.

Snow and Pineapple

2008-01-27T13:15:00.000-08:00

We have probably gotten about a foot and a half of snow here in the last 24 hours and it is still snowing hard. So what is a mother who yearns for tropical weather to do? Cut into a big, juicy, imported pineapple, of course! I know that anyone committed to buying local is probably shaking their head at me, but seriously, there is nothing growing locally here right now. I promise to buy nothing but locally grown produce in the summer--I will even go out to the farm and pick it myself. Although then I may draw fire from anyone worried about child labor since last year I had my 7 and 9-year-old nieces, as well as my then 3-year-old son out picking raspberries with me in 90 degree heat. They weren't complaining when they got home and started eating the fruits of their labor, though!

Book Review: The Hurried Child

2008-01-22T14:57:00.000-08:00

I read this book for a book club through my son's co-op preschool. The author, David Elkind, discusses the many ways in which children are hurried by parents, schools, and the media. As, my son's teacher said, "this is not a solutions book." He doesn't say don't let your children watch TV, don't get divorced, do homeschool your children or anything like that. He does give a really good review of child development and learning theories that can help parents decide what is appropriate for their child at what age.

One of the things that he talks about in the book is how as a country we tend to be stressed out and that people tend to be self-centered when they are stressed. He says that families with both parents working and single parents are especially susceptible to hurrying their children because of the multitude of demands they face everyday. This was somewhat self-affirming for me since I hadn't originally planned to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I got pregnant during my first year of teaching and in the beginning thought I would take a couple of months off and then return to work. Then my husband and I started looking at our life and wondering where a child would fit in. I felt like I couldn't be a great mom and a great teacher at the same time. I felt like both areas would suffer. I know I would be stressed to the max if I was trying to do both, as I am already stressed by the demands of trying to meet the needs of two children, a husband, and a household.

Something else that hit home for me in this book was a short section on how some SAHMs use their children's accomplishments to measure their own achievement or success, and therefore try to raise little prodigies. I have not been so worried that I will push my children too hard, since I really am all about letting children learn at their own pace and through discovering the world around them. My problem is fearing that I will let my identity become too wrapped up in motherhood and that I will somehow lose myself in the process of giving everything I have to my children and husband. I feel the need to seek fulfillment from other sources, but that is not always easy with a four-year-old hanging on your leg and a one-and-a-half-year-old that doesn't want to ever be set down.

I think what will stick with me the most about this book is how Elkind says that it is very difficult to tighten control in the teen years if you have given too much freedom too soon. I think that piece of advice alone makes this book worth reading when your children are young. There is a really good section on how freedoms need to be balanced with age appropriate responsibilities, as well as expectations with appropriate supports.

A Little Showing Off

2008-01-20T19:00:00.001-08:00

This is a series of cut paper illustrations that I have been working on that will eventually become a book that ImagiKid can "read" to JoyBaby. I have been very fascinated with this style of artwork lately. If you check out the sidebar to the left you will see links to the work of some very talented author/illustrators that have inspired me. I guess I have also been pretty fascinated with food lately. I am working on a children's story about a boy who will only eat foods that are his favorite color, and I recently submitted a story to a publisher (I am bracing myself for my fist rejection letter) that took place in a grocery store. I think maybe I want my stories to relate to children's everyday lives, and of course everyone can relate to food. It is such a central part of our daily lives. I know I spend a great deal of time shopping for it, preparing it, cleaning up after it has been consumed, but I wonder how much time the average person spends thinking about it. I am actually writing this post after getting out of bed to make myself some strawberry toaster waffles and hot chocolate because I just couldn't go to sleep feeling hungry. This is after a dinner of tortellini with tomato and sausage sauce with peas and a salad!

Our New Friends

2008-01-20T18:47:00.001-08:00

My husband got me a book on plants for Christmas. He said it was a hint, but he hoped I wouldn't take it the wrong way. I agreed that we needed some greenery around here, if only to improve the indoor air quality of our very tightly sealed newer home. I feel like I should name them--it might improve their chances of survival if I form some kind of emotional attachment to them. If anyone has any suggestions for names I would love to hear them. I have enlisted ImagiKid's help, he will probably be better at remembering to water them than I will.

Kindergarten Readiness

2008-01-16T09:51:00.000-08:00

My husband and I attended a kindergarten readiness seminar at our son's co-op preschool a couple of nights ago. They had a panel of five teachers: one was a public school kindergarten teacher, two were from a private school, and two were representing the magnet programs offered by the public schools in our area (which are multi-age but don't start until first grade). So I guess the seminar was as much about choosing which program to put your child in as it was about actually getting your child ready for kindergarten.

Even though they were all very vested in promoting their own programs and it was definately clear that they had some philosophical differences, as a panel they did seem to agreee on what is most important in getting your child ready for kindergarten

1) An eagerness and willingness to learn

2) Being emotionall ready to be on their own at school without mom

3) Having some social skills and an ability to get along with other kids

4) Being able to do some basic tasks for themselves, like put on their jacket and zip their backpack (one teacher said they do not need to be able to tie their shoes, because most 5-year-olds don't have the motor skills for that yet)

5) Know some basic safety rules, like who they should go home with. It is also helpful if they know thier parents first and last names and phone numbers.

Surprisingly, they said kids do not need to know all their letters and sounds or be able to count to 20 or anything academic like that. They all said that they meet the child where they are and help them to progess as a learner from that point. I am thinking this sounds pretty good.

Then towards the end of the meeting one of the panel members said that we are in the age of "best practices" in education. I nearly choked when she said that. I couldn't resist raising my hand and asking, "so how do 'best practices' fit in with the WASL?" The WASL is the standardized test given in the State of Washington. We are really in the age of the No Child Left Behind Act (aka No Child Left Untested Act). Standardized testing drives much of the curriculum now, and many districts even have strict pacing guides that teachers must follow no matter what the needs of their students are or where they are developmentally and academically. Now granted most of these teachers were either from private schools or magnet programs that don't look anything like a normal public school classroom in our district (and I can say that from personal experience because I used to be a substitute teacher), so maybe their classrooms do use "best practices." But I don't think that is the case in much of the rest of the country.

My fear is, which is shared by many, is that these tests are only creating schools where students are taught to take tests, instead of think creatively, problem solve and develop a love of learning. I also think it is really unrealistic to expect all students to meet the same level of achievement. This creates a "one size fits all" system of education, instead of one in which individual differences are celebrated and instruction is designed to help all the students--high achieving, low achieving and everywhere in between. For the record I do think many tenets of the act have real merit, such as mandating that all teachers be highly qualified and that instructional practices be researched based.

I am going to try and enroll my son in one of our district's alternative or magnet programs. He will still have to take the WASL (unless we were to opt out) if he is enrolled in one of these programs, but I don't think the instruction is nearly as focused on preparing for the test. I truly don't know what I will do if he doesn't get in--we don't have the money for private school and I just don't think I have what it takes to homeschool.

Why Does Disney Hate Mothers?

2008-01-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this is something that has been on my mind for awhile, why is it that in so many Disney movies the mother of the main character is dead or otherwise out of the picture? Think about it: Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Finding Nemo, Chicken Little, Ratatouille all have missing mothers. Then you have movies like Cinderella and Snow White where the only mother figure is a wicked stepmother who tries to either kill the heroine or ruin all her chances for happiness. What message is Disney trying to send to kids? It would appear to be that mothers are either unnecessary or evil. Or maybe they are just trying to terrify children by making them feel that their mothers could kick the bucket at any time.

To be fair, Disney movies really don't do a lot of justice to fathers either. They are usually portrayed as being totally incompetant to raise and protect their children, and are either too busy (King Tritan in Little Mermaid), too self-absorbed (Nemo's dad, Chicken Little's dad) or just too stupid (Jasmine's dad in Aladdin, Belle's dad in Beauty) to know what is really going on.

I honestly doubt that any of the messages Disney may be sending about mothers and parents in general really have too much affect on kids. I think they mostly just like the adventurous and imaginative aspects of the movies, and I do let my kids watch Disney movies, but I try to not let them get too wrapped up in them. For instance I do not buy my children clothing or products from movies (if you see my son wearing a Cars shirt, my mother bought it for him). My son's preschool teacher has a good rule for knowing when your child may be too wrapped up in a movie or show: if the child's play becomes too scripted and is no longer as creative or as imaginative as before, then it may be time to pull the plug (or at least cut back) on the movie and TV watching.

If anyone wants a more in-depth analysis of motherhood in Disney movies visit: http://animation.memory-motel.net/motherhood.html.

Isn't the snow beautiful?...Now get this winter over with!

2008-01-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

It has been snowing here on and off since Monday, which means we probably have about a foot of accumalated snow. Winters in the Inland Northwest are hard for me. Even though I only lived in California for two years, I think I am much more suited to that sort of climate. I am trying to make the best of it though. Today, I bundled up the kids and put JoyBaby in her little toboggan and we went for a walk in the snow. There is a "park" nearby (really just a large median) where ImagiKid and I had a snowball fight and made snow angels. When we got home I asked him if he had fun throwing snowballs at me and he said, "yeah, that was wicked!" Where does a four-year-old learn a word like that? My guess is from his uncle. Anyway, besides playing in the snow I am using all my best ideas for keeping kids entertained indoors. Here are a few:

1) Perler Beads
My son has been obsessed with these lately and they can keep him entertained for hours. The only drawback is what to do with all the little plastic shapes afterwards. If you iron them for a long time sometimes they can be flat enough to use as a bookmark.

2) Collapseable forts & tunnels
These have been a big hit with my son and his older cousins for years and now even JoyBaby likes to crawl around in them. Ours was a gift, but I would consider it a good investment. We have gotten so much use out them, plus they can be folded down and fit into about a 2'x2' bag or stored flat under a bed.

3) Books on CD
ImagiKid especially likes the Curious George collection right now. Yesterday, I swear he spent about two hours listening to them.

4) Games
Operation and Uno are favorites around here lately. They seem to be good for both preschoolers and elementary kids, as ImagiKid had lots of fun playing both with his older cousins who are seven and nine-years-old.

5) Baking
I am not much into baking, but even I can handle a muffin mix. ImagiKid is at an age where he is actually very helpful and even though JoyBaby can't really help yet, she loves the finished product. Hint: use an icescream scooper to put the batter in the muffin cups and you will get perfectly proportioned muffins (I read this somewhere, but wish I could claim it as my own).

If anyone has any great ideas, please share them! It is only January and I just might lose my mind before spring!

Happy New Year

2008-01-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

I am thrilled to report that my deepest Christmas wish, the one I had actually been praying for, came true--JoyBaby crawled on hands and knees on Christmas Eve! Then a couple days later she crawled over to the coffee table and pulled herself up into a kneeling position. My husband and I are thrilled.

So, anyway, it is a new year and I have a few resolutions. The first is to declutter my house. The second is to watch less TV and give ImagiKid less screen-time overall. Thirdly, I plan to make the decision on what I want to get my master's degree in so that I can begin taking classes this fall. I am well aware that many people's New Year's resolutions fall flat, including many of mine in the past, but I am going to create an actual plan to help me accomplish these goals.

I am goint to use the book It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh (#2 on my Winter Reading Challeng List) to help me declutter my house. I have also enlisted my husband's help with this one, and as per the book's instructions, he has helped me sit down and write out our vision for our home.

As for watching less TV myself, I plan to only watch shows I have set timers for on DVR and also go through and edit my list of timers. I realized how much more productive I have felt the past couple weeks with all my regular shows on hiatus for the holidays. I think that I have been allowing TV to take me away from things that are just as relaxing but also give me a greater sense of accomplishment. I am also going to start giving ImagiKid coupons for screen-time each day. I think this will help me set limits more firmly and also teach him to be more aware of how much time he spends watching movies or playing V-Smile.

I guess I don't have much of a plan for resolution #3 yet. Even though it really only requires thinking and not any physical labor, self-discipline or imposing my will on someone else (for their own good of course), it is the most difficult of all. Making this decision will determine what I do with my life after my kids are in school. It will affect how much money I make, how much time I will be able to spend with my family, how satisified I feel in my career and with my contribution to society, and many other things, including some I'm sure I haven't even thought of. When I was eighteen, I moved away from home and went to college and after changing my major a few times, decided to be a teacher. I felt like I would be doing something that would help other people, and I do think that I did a decent job of being a teacher, even though I didn't do it for very long before having my son. But I don't know if any eighteen-year-old is really ready to decide what they want to do with the rest of their life. For that matter, I don't even know if I am ready at 28, going on 29! So, wish me luck with this one.

I searched on the web for useful information about how to keep your resolutions and this is one article I found interesting: A New Year's Resolution Revolution. A lot of other websites say some of the same things, but this one also encourages you to look at what you've done right and helps you focus on what areas you should truly try to improve. I also like this website, just for fun: History & Fun Facts About the New Year.

Winter Reading Challenge

2008-01-01T22:18:00.000-08:00

I am joining my first on-line reading challenge. Thanks to Karlene at http://inksplasher.blogspot.com/ for hosting. The challenge started on December 22, so I am a little late getting started. I think I am going to choose 10 books, which will be about one book every week for the remainder of the challenge, which may be a lofty goal considering I have a 4-year-old and 16-month-old. Okay, here is my list:

1) The Hurried Child by David Elkind
I am actually reading this book for a book club hosted by the teacher of my children's co-op preschool. It is about the pressure that is put on kids to grow up too soon and do things that they are not ready for.
2) It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh
Peter Walsch is an organization guru from TLC's Clean Sweep. I plan to not only read the book, but actually do what he suggests in an effort to accomplish my New Year's resolution, which is to declutter my home. He promises that organizing your life will help you to live the life you dream of...we will see.
3) The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
I have to see what all the hype is about. My husband made fun of me for buying this one because it got made fun of so badly on Saturday Night Live, but I am at a point in my life where I could use a change, so maybe it will actually be good for me. This will count as going out of my comfort zone since I usually don't read self-help books.
4) A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
Another member of the challenge already has reviewed this book on her blog and said she couldn't put it down. I have a copy that was given to me by a very well-read friend that I get a lot of my reading recommendations from.
5) The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Believe it or not, I actually graduated from high school and college without reading any Steinbeck, but I guess it is never too late to start and I figure I should have at least one classic on my list.
6) I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids by Trish Ashworth and Amy Nobile
This book received a lot of attention this last summer and I wanted to read it then, but never got the chance.
7) The Best American Essays 2007 edited by David Foster Wallace
From the reviews on Amazon it sounds like this book will cover many interesting subjects. Plus I think I can get my husband to read it too, always a bonus.

8, 9, 10) TBA

Reviews to come!!!

I Hate Christmas--Just Kidding...Sort Of..

2007-12-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

For some reason this holiday season has seemed particularly hectic. Part of it, I know, is because I'm in charge of the office party for my husband's business. I spent half an hour at the register in Wal-Mart on Tuesday while the poor clerk rang up $1200 worth of gift cards that are to be handed out to the employees at the Christmas party. Meanwhile, my son is whining that he's hungry and wants to go McDonald's, and my daughter is insisting on being held, but still continuing to fuss. I gave in and took the kids to McDonald's because I still had to drag them to another store to exchange something because I bought the wrong size. I have to say that McDonald's is evil in the way they hook kids from a very young age. JoyBaby, who is not quite 16-months, mind you, saw the little Strawberry Shortcake dolls in the display case and started pointed and saying "ooh, ooh!" So then weak mother that I am, I got her a happy meal of her own so that she could get the stupid toy that she was tired of by the time we got to the car. Speaking of being weak, I actually used "you better be nice because Santa is watching" on ImagiKid. I cringe every time I hear parents say that, because 1) do we really only want our kids to be nice so they get presents? and 2) even if they aren't nice, isn't Santa going to come anyway? I don't know any parents who really wouldn't put anything under the tree from Santa and then tell their kids it was because they didn't behave.

But I digress. Back to why I am less then jolly this year. I think part of it is because I would really like to just enjoy the season and create all kinds of great memories and traditions with my kids, but instead I'm too worried about getting everyone the right present and worrying the whole time about how much money I am spending. I also get stressed out thinking about how much stuff my kids will get from everyone and where I am going to put it all. I am hoping that tomorrow when the office party is over that all the stress will just melt away. My husband and I are planning on taking the kids to look at Christmas lights, to the Campbell House, and maybe even for a carriage ride downtown this weekend. Who knows? Maybe I will get to create some great family memories afterall (if my kids can forgive me for being such a grouch and dragging them in and out of a million stores this past week).

Some food for thought:

http://www.forbes.com/business/2006/12/04/christmas-spending-breakdown-biz_cx_lr_1205christmas_slide_4.html?thisSpeed=15000

(a break down of how much and what Americans spent in 2006)

http://americanresearchgroup.com/holiday/

(what Americans plan to spend this year compared with the last 10 years)

http://www.more4kids.info/569/christmas-tips-to-reduce-stress/

(helpful tips on how to destress at Christmas)

Mommy Guilt Part 2

2007-12-12T21:35:00.001-08:00

First, I was very excited to get posts on my blog since I am new to this whole experience. Second, I have been thinking about my last post and how it sounded a little, I don't know... shallow. Yes, I do a lot as a stay-at-home mom, but who doesn't? I know that my husband has no idea how busy I really am, but he is also extremely busy himself and has his own worries. I think the reason I feel the need to list all my accomplishments is because I get so little feedback as a stay-at-home mom. There is really no one to evaluate what kind of job I am doing, and I certainly don't get a raise for a job well done.

As for the guilt I feel, I don't think I explained it adequately. Yes, I do feel guilty for taking time for myself that I could be devoting to my children, but I think it is more than that. I think the core of my guilt comes from the fact that I do not feel completely fulfilled by just being a mom and wife. I feel the need to be more. Before I got pregnant with my first, I desperately wanted to be a mom and felt like that would make my life whole.

I never pictured myself staying-at-home full time until about halfway through my pregnancy when I started calculating how many hours a day my child would be in daycare versus with his parents. Then I factored in all the time he would be with us, but we would be doing chores, errands, etc., instead of really paying attention to him. My husband and I both realized it would not work for our family for both of us to work full-time after our son arrived. We have made lots of sacrifices, including leaving California to find a cheaper area to live in, but we have made it work financially. Now, the problem is, I fulfilled my desire to create a family, but I took away another part of me that was central to my identity.

And it's not just that I want to be more, it's that I let that desire take over my thoughts to the point that it spoils the times that I should be enjoying my children and turns me into a grouchy and resentful person. Guilt can be a nasty cycle too--first you feel guilty about some stupid thing which puts you in a rotten mood, then because of your crappy state-of-mind you do something else to feel guilty about, and so on.

Apparently, I am far from alone in my feelings and frustrations. For more on "mommy guilt" go to :

http://anndouglas.blogspot.com/2006/04/mom-university-debra-gilbert-rosenberg.html

(this is an interview with the author of a a whole book on mothers' guilt)

http://www.mommysavers.com/moms-coffee-break/release-mother-guilt.shtml

(this website has some helpful tips on how to cope with it and how to realize when it's healthy guilt vs. unhealthy guilt)

http://truemomconfessions.com/

(this website doesn't deal so much with guilt, but rather is a forum for moms to say what they are really feeling and realize that they are not alone--which can help relieve a lot of guilt)

Mommy Guilt

2007-11-29T22:19:00.000-08:00

I was reading another blogger's posting about how every mother always feels guilty no matter what. How we always feel that we are not doing enough or that we're not doing the right things. This really hit home for me, because I get a sick feeling in my stomach just about every day thinking about whether or not I am really paying enough attention to my children. I feel guilty for checking my e-mail, trying to read an article in TIME or talking to a friend on the phone. It's not that I don't love playing, reading, creating, etc. with my children, because I find great joy in those activities, but not all the time. I need to do things that require some complex thought or that give me interaction with other adults or I would probably go insane. In an effort to feel less guilty, I have decided to write down my priorities as a stay-at-home mother and homemaker.
1) Feed them nutritious food, bathe them, put clean clothes on them, comb their hair, brush their teeth and otherwise take care of their basic physical needs
2) Make sure my children feel loved every day--hug them, kiss them, say "I love you", smile at them
3) Make sure my children feel important--spend time with them, listen to them, answer their questions, partake in their interests (even if that means pretending to be a superhero or playing with plastic dinosaurs on the train table)
4) Work with Joybaby on on her physical therapy
5) Take them to all their activities and appointments (preschool, physical therapy, soccer class, swimming)
6) Make sure the bills are paid, errands are run, important phone calls are made, important paperwork is filled out and basically make our home life run smoothly
7) Clean the house and teach my children some organization skills in the process, also do the grocery shopping and laundry, which make #1 above possible
8) Serve on two boards-one for our co-op preschool, the other for our family business and also fulfill my other duties associated with those positions

Whew!!! When I really write it all down like that, I really do a lot. Yes, I am patting myself on the back, but my point is that I accomplish most of those things on a regular basis, with housework getting the short end of the stick, so I should not feel guilty. My kids know they are loved and valued. JoyBaby is very happy and musical and social. ImagiKid is thoughtful and imaginative and loving. I am doing a good job and my kids get to be with their mom everyday!

By the way, check out http://www.salary.com/aboutus/layoutscripts/abtl_default.asp?tab=abt&cat=cat012&ser=ser041&part=Par481 to see what a stay-at-home mother is worth in dollars. There is even a link that allows you to make a "paycheck" and "pay stub" for yourself or another deserving mom.

P.S. Hereafter I will refer to my daughter as JoyBaby and my son as ImagiKid. I have wanted to keep their names annonymous on this blog and have found that other bloggers use cute nicknames to refer to their children and decided to adopt the habit myself.

Healthcare Crisis Hits Home ...or How To Avoid Your True Problems

2007-11-18T14:40:00.000-08:00

This post was originally going to be about how I think I am getting ripped off by my health insurance company, until I really started doing the math. Recently, my 14-month-old daughter has started physical therapy. She has loose tendons and joints in her knees and ankles, making her feel unstable and preventing her from crawling or walking. Physical therapy costs about $200/visit or $800/month. My husband and I will have to pay a $1000 deductible before our insurance will kick in, and then the insurance will pay up to $1500. So, our daughter will receive about 2 months of "free" physical therapy, and then we will have to begin paying out of pocket again or relying on the state to help us with alternative sources of funding. This made me irate at first, until I realized that if the insurance company continued to pay for my daughter's therapy every month, they would be paying out the exact amount that we pay in each month for our entire family's health care coverage.

So I guess my anger should really be directed at the hospital that provides the physical therapy for charging such an exorbitant amount. I know the physical therapist doesn't make $200/hr and even if you figure in overhead, someone somewhere is making an awful lot of money off of our family's misfortune.

It seems like all we hear about lately is how our health care system is broken in this country. It seems like there are stories about it in the news everyday. It is easy to tune all that out after awhile, until it hits home. Here are a few quick facts:

Health insurance for a family of four averages about $10,000/year
The cost of health insurance as gone up 36% since 2000. Average earnings have gone up 12.4%
There were 47 million uninsured people in this country in 2006

For further reading:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A55301-2004Sep27.html

http://www.familiesusa.org/

http://www.census.gov/prod/2007pubs/p60-233.pdf

In the interest of being honest with myself and others, I should admit that all this energy spent on being angry at the insurance companies, the health care system, etc. is probably a way to avoid dealing with the more important issue at hand. I am not sure how to cope with having a child that is not "normal." No one expects this to happen to them, at least I didn't. How do I deal with people who act surprised when I tell them how old she is? What if the physical therapy doesn't work? What if she doesn't develop normally in other areas? Is this somehow my fault? I don't want to seek out the answers to my questions yet, so I have spent my time reading up on the health care system in America.

Less Government

2007-11-04T13:19:00.000-08:00

On Thursday I got a letter from the mother of a friend from college, let's call her Jan. My husband and I attended the same church as Jan and her husband "Dan" during college. They immediately started a family after college and now have four children. They visited us this summer, while Jan was still pregnant with their fourth child. They were obviously wonderful parents and their three girls appeared very happy and healthy. Okay, back to the letter: it stated that Jan and Dan's newborn son had not been able to gain weight after his birth, despite multiple visits to lactation consultants, dietitians, several pediatricians and a four day stay in the hospital. Recently, Jan and Dan decided to change pediatricians again in search of someone who could help them better understand all the different pieces of advice they've been given. When they cancelled their upcoming appointment with their current pediatrician he reported them to CPS. CPS then removed all four of their children from their home. The girls were returned to them after only a weekend, but their infant son has been in foster care for nearly a month. My husband and I are outraged that the government can come in and take a child away from his loving and capable parents at the suggestion of a doctor on an ego-trip.

A good friend of mine was recently surprised to find out that I generally vote Republican, even though many of my views could be considered liberal. This case is exactly the reason--I believe we need less government interference. If CPS could come and take away Jan and Dan's kids, they could take anybody's kids away. Parents should have the right to change their children's doctors and act in what they feel is the best interests of their children without fear of the government stepping in and ripping their babies from their homes.

My Fall Book Recommendations

2007-10-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

Children's Books:

The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything
by Linda Williams, illustrated by Megan Lloyd
This is a great book to read out loud while using instruments to make all the different sound effects.

The Little Scarecrow Boy
by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by David Diaz
A great story for little boys who look up to their daddies.

Five Little Pumpkins
pictures by Dan Yaccarino
A sweet poem for young children to learn and it lends itself well to hand motions.

Adult Books:

Dinner with Dad
by Cameron Stracher
Stracher tells the true story of his quest to eat with his family at least five nights a week and get his kids to eat something besides pasta pesto and macaroni and cheese.

The New Feminism

2007-10-25T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have been a little obsessed with watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC lately. They have two six-year-olds and six 3-year-olds and Kate keeps a much cleaner house than mine. Sometimes I feel that since I am a stay-at-home mom my house should be perfectly organized and scrubbed. Why isn't my house neat and clean? Mainly because I choose to devote my time to my children rather than my house--I take them to the park, the library, the pool and participate in their co-op preschool with them. But also I choose not to devote the free time I do have to my house, instead I write (children's stories), read, spend time with my husband, correspond on e-mail or watch movies and tv shows that I enjoy. In other words, I try to do things that fulfill me as a person, which housework does not (my husband has sadly come to terms with this realization).

So, I started wondering about all the other modern stay-at-home mothers out there and how they spend their time and whether or not they feel fulfilled. Linda Hirshman, a well-known feminist, appeared on "Good Morning America" awhile back and basically said that all of us educated women that choose to leave the workplace to raise our children are a disgrace to the feminist movement and that we are failing womankind. She says that being a stay-at-home mother "does not sound particularly interesting or fulfilling for a complicated person, for a complicated, educated person." How big of an impact has the feminist movement had on how women feel about their roles as stay-at-home mothers? The view that many people seem to hold of mothers in the '50s and before is that they were blissfully happy to raise their families, put hot food on the table and keep immaculate houses, but is that true or did many of them want more? I would guess the latter, otherswise the feminist movement would have never happened in the first place.

It appears that women now have more choices, but still no clear answers. We have the ability, thanks to the feminists that went before use, to seek out careers and positions of power, yet many of us feel compelled to do the important work of raising our children. But then we are left feeling that all of our talents are not being utilized and maybe we have more to contribute to society. Hirshman believes that the next goal of feminists should be to reconstruct the family and the roles women play within it. However, thankfully there are people like Kim Clark, dean of the Harvard business school, who believe that businesses should be trying to get creative and find ways for women to raise their children while still working on a part-time basis until they are ready to return full-time. This should really be the next goal for the feminist movement: give women real choices, don't make them choose between a career and a family, let them do both--the world will be a better place for it.

For further reading on Linda Hirshman and her appearance on "Good Morning America" go to:

www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/10/08/60minutes/main648240.shtml